Secondly, MARK R and AMADEUS had decided to devise the film as the 'ultimate humiliation exercise' for myself....but weirdly enough...LAING was to love the part so much...she had fantasies of being a 'genius artist' etc....that she forced them to be allowed to improvise bits of the part...anyway, a lot of us had to impro the part...I impro'd the bit about 'animals have emotions too' in relation to what I had seen at my parents' chateau (which looked rather like the house in the film)...a cow had given birth in the field, normally the farmer didn't allow 'natural births' and so this pregnancy had been overlooked...he then drove out in his truck and slung the calf bodily onto the back...it was so cruel...the other cows were trying to protect the calf and mother but they couldn't...and then they came over to me - mooing over the wire fence...and I 'knew' what they were saying because I used to 'commune' with them...they used to lick the salt off my hands, face...like a big 'kiss' really...how could I not try to stop this man...the same species as myself...it was a huge wave of emotion that i felt from them all...and it really upset me..

Anyway, LAING had to be allowed to do, whatever she wanted to do...so she loved the idea of painting the pictures...with help and direction from the rest of us...

Secondly, TODDY got in on the act as OLD MOTHER SMITH 'washerwoman' style...he appeared to be also attracted to the role...so in brief, the finished film was used as programming materials for different people - with very different interpretations...

during production, I can remember walking through the old town streets with ROZ and GILL...and that was when ROZ had her 'flash of inspiration'...along the lines of 'okay, so she goes mad...she believes that she is the bride of christ and she leaves her paintings at people's doors'...ROZ was pointing down the very street, which was used in the movie...that is how 'ad hoc' it all was...filming was already in 'full swing' and there was no ending written...just 'she goes mad'...

Anyway, the ill were using my Swiss-French family as an inspirational resource for the movie, quite a bit...I recognised a huge amount in relation to background detail...pictures, furniture...that type of thing...although it has to be said that there were no artists in that family...the grandfather had done a few 'bad watercolours' which my father has...COLETTE was a photographer...but nothing more...

...anyway, i suppose that is because LAING was being groomed to 'be me' and from way back...by AMADEUS who had the 'whole picture'...