You think that I am crazy and 'making it all up'? the MASONS don't...they know a lot about this sort of 'sign/signification' system...and that is the only thing that bothers me...i can see that I was set up...TOMLINSON was paid the money...to work it all out...as I went along...a 'dupe' again, of course...

...my one failing in life...as DABYDEEN was to tell me...that I had been brought up by COLETTE and my father (although he had double-standards to the nth degree) to think that MONEY was nothing...it didn't matter if you had it, it didn't matter if you didn't...it wasn't a worthwhile 'goal' in life, to accrue it...there were more important things to do with your life and time on this planet...DABYDEEN was to tell me that I had been taught this to an extreme, to the point where I couldn't look after myself...because you need money to buy food, a roof over your head etc etc...

Of course, I knew that...as I explained to him...my endless job searches that resulted in nothing...forever 'on the dole'...the humiliation and degradation...I always looked after myself in terms of 'keeping up appearances' (keeping clean and eating healthy food) even though it is very hard, as you go through life and have had 'no proper job' to speak of....and 'no money'...but I managed to 'keep my end up' despite all of that...I never 'let things go'...

...and then when you wake up to ill cult abuse in your forties...know that they ate your babies...deliberately impregnated you in the most aggressive, violent and hostile ways...sometimes in public...MRS GRAHAM once gleefully 'took me down a peg' by telling me that this had happened by her son and his 'gang' in the CHEMISTRY LAB of H class...RIMINGTON had screamed at them to 'just get that COW pregnant'...and they gang-banged me...so much for MRS GRAHAM eh?...and she was supposedly part of the rebel group and so was her son...you see how I could so easily despise all of the so-called 'rebel group'? I can even remember BIGGS coming in and laughing at the 'scene' as in 'she's so fat - how could you fancy anything like that?'...i wasn't that fat (for example ABBAS fancied the girls at school who were fatter than me - DENISE for example - but he wasn't allowed to touch me for some reason - I wonder why? SCARLETT's POLICE say 'you were on the ARABIC network' - how funny, I looked less like an Arab than most because of colouring - but i was classified by the ill cult as such - upon DNA)...but that was beside the point...BIGGS only fancied anorexic little dolls who couldn't fight back...with no breasts or hips....'masculine' really...like little boys but without that threatening 'dick'...

FAIRBROTHER shocked his group of friends...SPENCE, HAWKER etc....by telling them that he had shagged BELINDA NUNN...they laughed and said words to the effect of 'we thought you were gay'....he then told them that she had no tits...just like a boy...and they laughed again...we saw it all in the CIA LAB...4th formers...the first term...all of this 'male gang' had been 'trained' by TODDY not to see HOMOSEXUALITY as a bad thing but a 'higher thing'...and that girls who looked like boys were acceptable to shag...not as bad as the COWS...that you simply had to 'impregnate', get money for doing so...and have NO FEELINGS about, afterwards...

BELINDA NUNN was insane by that point...and she used to 'entrance' those like FAIRBROTHER and TOMLINSON...by dancing and singing round TODDY's house that she was a witch...and a cannibal...she used to live on human flesh...as TODDY did...I am not joking...NUNN had been sent that mad...FAIRBROTHER and TOMLINSON were entranced...a vision of SATANISM perfected...a woman who 'agreed' with the whole thing and celebrated it...eating babies/foetuses...a RAGDOLL who had 'BLACK HOLE' eyes...whom you could 'reprogramme' to do anything that you wanted 'it' to do...they loved the whole thing...TODDY showed them how easy it was to 'trance out' NUNN...and to reprogramme her to do 'anything you want'...

The above - as in MRS GRAHAM viciously reminding me of the 'other side of the mirror' in response to my 'I haven't got a boyfriend because I am a bit repressed, a virgin and not ready for that type of thing - the idea of dating and having a boyfriend scares me' and GRAHAM laughed her head off angrily (as well she might) she then informed me of what had really happened to me.... - that sent me suicidal for a while....a 'meeting was convened'...SCARLETT, RIMINGTON, TODDY and GILL...I wouldn't obey any of them...I refused to listen and ignored them all...RIMINGTON remarked that they had 'pushed me too far' and after that...the abuse wasn't 'quite as bad' I suppose...until the SUBWAY event...etc etc...

I survived it all...and then just got harder, angrier and colder...that is why I could 'knock out ill cult paramilitary bases' so easily...as an adult - any of them, in point of fact - in the CIA LAB or out of it - using 'higher knowledge' that I had kept to myself...easy.

So MOSHE DAYAN was entirely right...keep me in the ZYGOTE SLAVE category and I would take out the LIZARDS everywhere...as many as I could..."she'll bring the whole system down" he said, with a laugh...in that covert Israeli Army lab...the one that 'lost all files'...