I have a ‘good idea’ of when this funeral will be…I.e. TODAY…

…that is why the email came so late…CAROLINE had decided that I must not be invited…

Secondly that ARNOLD was being ‘beaten up’ by both CAROLINE and EDWIN…

EDWIN had entered the bedroom after CAROLINE with the words ‘PAPA playing up again?’ - to see his father, clutching the side of his head…and CAROLINE putting down the walking stick…a large wooden one…

So I had better pen an email to ‘keep things proper’…because you know that I am supposed to be suffering from PERSISTENT DELUSIONAL DISORDER and so I will make no mention of any of the above:



Dear parents

I am very sorry to hear the horrible news. Please pass on my condolences to everyone.

Seeing as you contacted me via email this Sunday morning - instead of upon the Wednesday when Arnold passed away, I am assuming that this is to be a very ‘private funeral’ and therefore I would be very happy if you could add my name to the wreath/flowers which you propose to take or if not and only if it is appropriate, could you possibly buy some flowers for the family and I will reimburse you.

Love

Emily