GILL and his association with the SAS...I know very little about it...all I know is that he was trained by them, in various ways...as I had been....

TOMLINSON had joined them - in relation to the SBS.....


GILL had done that 'death defying feat' up the DAM...and then been the first 'down' MCDONALD's pulley system...the METAL CLIP had been my idea....it worked....but I was scared out of my mind....when it budged, slightly out of place...as if it might 'go' when GILL went down...and he went down fast, MCDONALD keeping pace of the ropes....


He got to the bottom - no problems at all.

MCDONALD had made me 'oversee it all' firstly, in the CIA LAB....but 'on the ground' and in a very young child alter who couldn't 'see everything' at that point in time, it was hair-raising. MCDONALD trusted what I had seen 'that it would all be all right'...ROZ had backed that one up....so we all had to 'go down that route'....clipped to a pulley system.

The CRAZY COMPANY pushed me to go second...after GILL had hit the ground below....he went down really fast...and I was thankful for the fact that they were pushing me to go down next...otherwise I might have 'caused problems' for them...

My expectations were therefore, that the PULLEY SYSTEM would be 'really fast' and i was scared of hitting the ground too fast....

...and this is where I begin to laugh, in retrospect...'so like MARTIN GILL'....

What I mean to say is this:

My experience was of simply standing on top of the wall, clipped to the rope and saying 'okay' and then I shut my eyes, stepped off the top and that was it....

I expected to have my EYES FIRMLY CLOSED SHUT for a very short duration - until my feet hit the ground...that was all that was 'in my brain' at the time....

However, it was 'not to be'.

I could hear the rope-pulley system above my head (once I had jumped off with my eyes shut)....and it was going VERY SLOWLY....and then it STOPPED.

...about three seconds, after it had been moving. There was a time limit of about 2-3 seconds before it started to move again....and i began to 'descend' to earth again...and then the rope pulley system STOPPED again.......this happened so many times..until I had my feet upon the ground again.

I simply kept my EYES SHUT the whole time...I couldn't do anything else...because I knew that i was 'bad at heights' and didn't want to go into 'trauma' as in 'lose memory'....

Once I had my feet upon TERRA FIRMA....PURE RELIEF....and i hadn't opened my eyes once....

GILL was of the opinion that I should have done, for no apparent reason....

He questioned ROZ upon that number...had she opened her eyes? She replied that she had....it was true...

What was GILL on about? Was he simply putting us all through the REVERSE of what he had accomplished?

I mean to say - it wasn't a 'cable car' TOURIST experience - was it?

We were being slowly winched down a f***ing dam.....and it seemed like HOURS to me......and I never opened my eyes once.

....but maybe that was GILL's point...'you had it easy, watching me do it...now you learn the hard way'....