I have been trying to work out why MARTINE was so angry with HENRY…and after all of those years…she had to ‘break cover’ in order to confront him with it…

I also remembered that film - I cannot even remember the title now but it starred JULIA ROBERTS and HUGH GRANT…he was a bookseller and she was a HOLLYWOOD MOVIE STAR (as if she wasn’t)…and MARK R was in charge of the script…they were stuck upon a realistic line as a ‘breakthrough point’ where the couple can be reconciled - brought back together…and I gave him the ‘just a boy and a girl’ line, straight off…MARK R wasn’t sure that it would work…I was sure…it was my ‘lived’ experience - HENRY and MARTINE…I had been the ‘bookseller’ to his ‘star’ of the ill cult. Okay one can say that I was describing a ‘gender swap toddler friendship’ but even so…same difference when it comes to broken hearts. I didn’t have any other hand in the writing of that script -as far as I am aware.

Anyway, I then remembered what TODDY and RIMINGTON had done to MARTINE and HENRI…the programmers were off their heads on drugs and MARTINE had tried to get one over me, as usual…I lost it and began to shout that he was only a STUPID GIRL…the programmers got annoyed and told MARTIN to pull down his pants…they then told me “HE IS THE REAL BOY, NOT YOU” - MARTIN(E) was victorious - (s)he had won the battle, effortlessly…they then told me to pull down my pants…and said dismissively - “you are a GIRL…”

That was too much for me - I lay on my back and BAWLED. RIMINGTON looked a bit worried and told TODDY that she should give me some SECONAL to calm me down…she did so…MARTINE - realising that I was ‘incapable‘ and that I couldn‘t retaliate, began to kick me, the programmers didn‘t stop him/her - I tranced out…I then got TODDY to box MARTINE’s ears…and so it goes on…

I then remembered GILL kicking me whilst I was in AUSCHWITZ mode…nearly dead from starvation…that would have been MARTINE…but there was also another ‘deadly alter’ in there…GILL also had an ‘adult ROTHSCHILD’ alter…as evil/wicked as they come…an adult Arabic male…that is the alter that I was warning BI about in relation to the rewriting of the FBI program…he will trick you in any way that he can…

I do not know who this man was…who had put that ’most demonic alter of all’ in but I would guess that this ROTHSCHILD had claimed to be GILL’s real father - upon a biological level…GILL would have been told that he was his illegitimate child - his cuckoo-in-the-nest, whether this was actually true or not...

So GILL grew up knowing that he was MARTIN(E)…he had the best of both worlds (but I did not - my HENRI SOE world had been cruelly squashed)…until one day…and I would guess that this is what had happened:

Remember how GILL had dated DEB MCD once and asked her to recount her friendship with me, in great detail…all of the funny stories etc and then once the date had finished - cruelly told DEB (in his father’s car) that he had never been so bored in his life and that he wasn‘t going to ask her for another date…that was MARTINE…and she was livid but also ‘cold’ with jealousy. I was her ‘best friend’ and not DEB MCD.

You see MARTIN and DEB MCD was so alike as personalities it was untrue…and if DEB could have got that one-liner in first “I have never been so bored in all my life” - ten to one, she would have done. GILL was simply quicker off the mark.

I can remember at school - SUE WHALLEY had analysed DEB’s character and she had simply summarised DEB as RUDE…I was a bit shocked…so she amended that one to TACTLESS.

I can remember one MATHS lesson - where the 3 of us shared a desk…and I asked DEB how her Saturday in Solihull town centre with SUE had been (I hadn’t wanted to go) and she replied that it had been the most boring day in long while, that she could remember…SUE’s eyes were almost popping out of her head…and she shouted at DEB…“DEBORAH -how can you be so TACTLESS? HOW RUDE!”
SUE had taken that one to heart and in a big way…

We had a discussion about it afterwards…I tried to understand how DEB was…and she had always been that way…since I had first met her at LANGLEY JUNIORS…she simply spoke her mind with no regard for the feelings of those around her…and she liked to cause trouble…I told SUE that she had her ‘uses’ in that if you wanted anything broadcast…DEB was like a MEGAPHONE…you simply whispered something to her and she would mega-blast it out to the entire class, assembly…you name it…(I had had big problems with DEB upon that account until I had a serious talk with her upon the lines of ‘I will never tell you anything in secret again - if you do that, again’ and I then wouldn’t tell her anything for about 2-3 days in order to prove my point - she could MEGA-BLAST anything that I said wasn‘t secret but not the stuff that I didn‘t want getting back to me)…

In retrospect, GILL and MCD were so similar - it was untrue…both were STARS at JUNIOR SCHOOL and SENIOR SCHOOL in that everybody knew their name…even in the 4th form…little first year boys would run past DEB pisstaking her in terms of ‘DEBBIE, DEBBIE’ and she would then shout ‘how do you know…’ and then she would stop…because she knew that EVERYBODY knew her name…they always did…she was a ‘star’ of the show…wherever she was…like GILL…she had a megaphone voice…and presence…but was so pretty and attractive…and ‘crazy’ despite being the most TACTLESS children around…that everybody liked them, regardless…

So you can see how MARTINE would have been jealous of DEB…but he liked her all the same…no matter how cruel he had been to her upon that first date…you see he was a narcissistic personality…and he couldn’t hate somebody who was so similar to him…nor could he find ‘himself’ boring…DEB MCD was the female equivalent of MARTIN GILL…but less masculine and less ‘wicked’…GILL then told me that the only REAL FRIEND that I have ever had, in my life - had been DEB MCD…I would guess that this was MARTINE talking…(s)he saw DEB MCD and herself as much the same thing…except that DEB was a real girl and she was not…

…and that was the ‘rub’.

I do not know why MARTINE got so ‘hurt’ by HENRI but I wonder…DEB MCD was a real ‘poke in the eye with a sharp stick’…I had had this intense friendship with her, throughout SENIOR SCHOOL…

You see, programmers can harm you in two ways…either they force you do to something terrible to the person that you have an intense emotional bond with…or they tell the other person that you were responsible for something terrible done to them….and in general terms, if they have used the latter against you…you tend to get the response of:

“…YOU know why I am so upset/furious/angry. Don’t pretend that you don’t. NO, I am NOT going to talk about it.”

This is generally an entirely female response. A man would either keep quiet about the whole thing - or confront you with it.

I would guess that MARTINE was suffering in relation to the above…she couldn’t talk to me about it…but she held that grudge…and I still do not know why….but my intuition tells me that it was something to do with my ‘best friendship’ with DEB MCD.

“MARTINE held it against you for life - we can see that” says the MI5 network.

Isn’t it a frightening business?

I am beginning to see now, that when I got a ‘real girl’ as a best friend - who was just like MARTINE in personality…that the cracks began to show…

HENRY had ‘carried’ GILL as a young child…’first love’ as TODDLERS…he had done his best on his ‘SOE MISSIONS’ to help MARTIN out…

I had even got the better of TODDY and RIMINGTON by being able to ‘trance out’ and remote-view upon my own…in order to help MARTIN and then SHANA…see previous notes.

I was always a ‘little boy’ in my head upon these SOE MISSIONS…you see that is what TODDY used to describe them as- when he took me out upon an operation…an SOE MISSION…and I loved it…I loved it all…and once I had realised that the programmers were harming my new love…(once TODDY had rejected my proposal of marriage)…then I tried to protect GILL in every way that I could - until they found out.

In later life - in teenage years - it was MARTIN who was trying to protect EMILY…I was helpless, under their onslaughts…no memories at all.

MARTIN GILL in later life…still subconsciously ‘understood’ HENRI - my young child alter….GILL wasn’t alarmed or annoyed…once he had come to ISRAEL to collect me…in relation to ‘flying upside down over CHINA’…HENRY was a toddler ‘escape artiste’…monkeying down the fire-escape…HENRY knew no fear…and he always seemed to get away with it…and MARTINE loved him for it.

…however, MARTINE knew that she wasn’t recognised…that I only loved GILL the gay man…HENRI was homological - he only liked ‘being with the boys‘ and he had started up such a strong friendship with ATTILA THE HUN sort of thing….MARTINE hated that…HENRI had to accept her, as she really was…and provide an answer as to why HENRI had acted in the way that he had done…all those years ago…I still have no answer…because I don’t really know what I did…to hurt MARTINE so much.


I now have to type in a BLUE code: flych