this morning i was to remember that i was in somebody else's shoes...were they tanya's?

yesterday and as i was leaving station road to enter the fountain area...a black car passed by...a tanya lookalike was driving...with a young blonde girl in the passenger seat....she drove fast...down pallister road.....

anyway, this morning i was to suspect that it was tanya's day in the flat...and that she was supposed to have made a deal with the russians...mr putin in particular...that no 'harry potter money was to be paid back' by them....

the mark r tannoy system was to tell me that it would be spent upon the 'poor of russia'...now if it had been any other tannoy system - i might have believed it because i 'wanted to believe' as the saying goes...but that particular tannoy system? obviously 'not'....

and so 'no deals' at all.

gill and i will have the whole lot back and then decide who is owed what...and yes mr putin did help me a lot...as did tanya's father...but they also plotted to murder me, later on...i have all of the 'notes' now....at my disposal.

the only people that gill was to 'let off' paying it all back...was OASIS who had done a huge amount 'behind the scenes'...in relation to frequency desks etc...

additionally, i was also to remember tomlinson at that plaza hotel near to the LONDON EYE....bagley was to rush in....to tell him that the 'master' as in the prague rothschild i suppose....wanted A.L. aborted immediately.....they were then to find out, that she wasn't pregnant....but tanya had put a small red purse, into her womb...the men opened it to find a tiny diamond and ruby....

i do not know what it was all about but i can guess...to reprogram them with the BACK OF THE UNDERTAKER'S WATCH....see previous notes upon the cia lab/green tower finding a diamond and ruby inset - into the mechanism of scarlett's 'white rabbit' watch....

A.L. then recovered - after such severe trauma - being held down by three men and abused in such a horrific way.....

and bizarrely enough but i can understand it too well...she was more embarrassed at having 'made a mess on the carpet' than anything else....zygote slaves are taught to blame themselves whenever and wherever possible and to be mortally embarrassed...mortified with 'shame'...

as i have always said and continue to do so - the shame is THEIRS...throw it back upon them.

"the MORTICE LOCK" replies BI ONLINE....really...is that part of MORTI/MORDECHAI/MORT programming?

MORT-ICE

death - by - freezing

"they put her into a cold bath afterwards and tipped ice into it"

i have the images back now...they had to go down to the hotel kitchens to get the ice....and were panicking....

so what happened then?

did A.L. have any memories at all - of what they had done to her?

i would assume not....that is 'how i was' after the ill had broken into my flat in prague...and in katowice, i might add....

and lisa was too - after they had broken into her flat in prague....the taschmanns had used heated (on the stove) wire clamps upon her nipples to make her disassociate immediately (whilst shouting at her - that she wasn't as sexually attractive as she thought she was "she thinks her tits are great? doesn't she?" one queried another) and then got two of the dto staff - matt smith and oliver - to impregnate her....the two men laughed hollow demonic laughs....oliver said to matt 'she's not much -now, in that state, is she?'...on the bed, with her eyes open - staring sightlessly at the ceiling - with her knees spreadeagled - forced up to her waist...

oliver had fancied lisa into the ground - as a colleague at the dto...and now she was laid out 'like a piece of meat' for them to rape....which both of them - then proceeded to do.

you can see why those two had to be 'dealt with' at some point, can't you? along with the taschmanns....lisa was to blame the taschmanns most of all....and now i can begin to understand why lisa had had no compunction in consigning webb to a life of hell, overlooking what the ill called their 'auschwitz' in central london....whilst being sexually 'used' - as a male mind control sex slave....by the wives of the royal horseguards....

if you understand how the ill cult male slaves - abuse the women slaves within the ill cult...you begin to understand why the holliday family and their friends - had figured that the 'jizzing stick' - a taschman invention...wasn't such a bad idea....

"it is all about controlling both sides of the equation" replies BI ONLINE....getting men and women to fight...and to escalate the 'sex war'....

and it begins with aborting girls....at 10 or 11 years old - as soon as they are able to become pregnant - when their periods start...to traumatise them out of their minds....

the girls had all been taught previously and from 'very, very young' that their womb was a 'purse' which the ill can steal from....

TANYA had literally put a purse into A.L's womb....and i wonder why now...a small red purse....

you see - TANYA had once got very angry with me....at that exeter shared house circa 1990....you see A.L. had told me that she had been born in HONG KONG and then shown me a photo of her parents....now A.L. had a chinese/japanese look to her eyes - even if they were not brown....far more so than any 'blonde chinese' like roz or my sister (my sister increasingly looks like she had down's syndrome when young but not 'severely' and i 'know' that to be true - gill and hulbrusch had looked into it - the whole thing is coming back now)....

A.L. on the other hand - had the very pale compexion and 'black hair' of many Chinese/Japanese people...and the type of hair that doesn't curl at all....completely straight and very dark....in short, her parents didn't have that type of look....

so i went and put my foot straight into it and laughed 'the obvious' in terms of....well what i said was a bit odd....and not 'the obvious'....i said 'in that hong kong nursery - did somebody swap babies? you look quite chinese to me....'

A.L.s eyes popped out of her head....it was such an offensive remark....she then replied that she looked JUST LIKE HER FATHER and everybody said so....

i looked at her father again, in the photo...."i am tall, like him" she added.

The guy had curly grey hair....and no feature upon his face - looked anything like her....ditto with her mother....

A.L. was 'model tall' for a woman....most of TANYA's friends were....so tall that SARAH HOLLIDAY once exclaimed that they were 'tall for her' having met them in an exeter pub....and sarah claimed to be 5 foot 7 but was more 5 foot 9.....and those women 'renting rooms in that exeter house' were all taller than her...dwarfed her....but then they were wearing 'high heels' that evening....

in fact, i once brought that up with tanya - the question of height "i'm a dwarf here"....all of the women in that rented house, were about 6 foot - apart from the 'small blonde woman who ran a hairdresser's in town' - who had the basement flat....and didn't associate with the rest of us, in that house - at all....and i am beginning to realise that she was probably the most suspect of all....see previous notes upon WINNIE in OLTON and her hairdressing business....and also something i might have written about but probably not....

JULIE's birthday - i can remember that now - a 'sex and death theme' for the party - S/M POSTERS everywhere, around that 'shared house' in exeter....

tanya 'had a male friend' who had supplied her with a SAN FRANCISCO gay S/M magazine - whereupon she and KNIGHT had blown up each image LARGE.....

not the sex images....just the really insane S/M stuff....like a B/W image of a guy with so many hooks in his flesh....hanging off the bough of a dead tree, in the desert...grinning wildly for the camera.....he appeared to be 'still conscious'....

it was all a bit much for me....and yet i was implicated...i had suggested a 'sex and death' theme in a pub brainstorming session with tanya and her mates - 'think of a theme for julie's party'....i had no idea that they would take up 'sex and death' with such alacrity and produce such materials....but i reasoned....it's a sign of the times....at that point - 'youth culture' was being bombarded with AIDS advertisements (safer sex condoms were being handed out in night clubs).....and public health warnings...SEX AND DEATH had become a prominent message within the media....i was thinking around the french 'petit mort'.....which as far as i knew was the french male understanding of depression- after you had ejaculated into a woman.....

and the above is also odd to me....most men that have loved me and i have loved them....well, that isn't the case at all.....you cuddle and kiss afterwards....you feel 'at one'....i suppose 'petit mort' refers to an encounter where you aren't with 'somebody special'....a 'casual fuck' or prostitute....and then you just want to shrug them off and pretend that they are not there, whether you are male or female....it is the same, in both cases.

OTHER NOTES:

back to poor old 'julie from the bank' - the one working member of our household - that shared house of 'really tall and model thin women'....apart from the dwarf blonde one, in he basement who ran a hairdressers....

julie's birthday party....tanya organised a male stripper for her....she then spent a long time in the bathroom....locked in with him......

that annoyed the 'dope-smoking brigade' who hammered on the door....they wanted to 'smoke' in a 'locked' bathroom - so 'get out of there, now - eh?'....no response....and for hours.

i had no idea what was going on by that point....it was too overwhelming....so i reached for another wine glass....

I had a video camera....the tape was then wiped by tanya and her best friend jackie knight - and once the camera had been returned to me....and yes it had 'gone walkies for a while' the V8 TAPE had been wiped....

OTHER NOTES:

....anyway, at some point in the proceedings - of 'julie's sex and death birthday party' ....we all marched down to present 'blonde hairdresser dwarf in locked up basement flat' - with JULIE's BIRTHDAY CAKE....the hairdresser opened her door....had a look - nervously and then said....oddly enough:

"okay - i'll deal with it"....what did she mean?

I didn't go in.....her flat was 'fairyland' as far as i was concerned....the blonde dwarf looked at me....then said 'she's too out of it'.....as if the rest of them, weren't....

tanya then came upstairs again....after the 'select few' had gone into that flat - with the birthday cake....and JULIE.....

to say that "it wasn't that bad"

what wasn't 'that bad'?

why did you have to 'check in' with her?

what was she up to - and what were you doing - marching JULIE in with her 'birthday cake'?

OTHER NOTES:

anyway, i was the 'dwarf' amongst the rest of the women who had rooms in that house....tanya was to tell me that LIZ was the tallest of all...i wondered about that one...i figured that her best friend JACKIE KNIGHT was tallest - but of course, she didn't live in that house.....tanya was furious with me for mentioning height at all....

but as DIBBENS had pointed out....to be tall means that psychologically you 'look down on others'....whether you want to do so or not...you 'look down' on people....tomlinson was 6 foot 4....and with the amount of ill cult programming that guy had been through....well he began to think of himself as a 'god' towering above mortals....

i was renting a room - in a house of women - who towered above me, in high heels.....as i was to say to tanya about her best mate jackie.....

'plumb line level'....i stood a distance away from jackie, across the party room....and then, visually - she was almost 'my height'......in order to carry out a conversation...i can remember that, at the party....we were both laughing and shouting at each other, across the room....it was all about the 'visual' for some reason....people appear smaller, as you become more distant to them......

GILL had a look at the whole thing, at the CIA LAB 'somebody was looking through your eyes - using you'....

i was horrified....and then i began to make plans......i had to find out who had done it....put a stop to it......

....and that is how i began to research the whole horror 'looking through somebody else's eyes'....

'distance is a great leveller, isn't it?' i was to query hulbrusch - in a rhetorical question....at the CIA LAB....and in relation to top cia programmer families......he already knew what i was talking about and didn't bother to reply. He simply nodded.

we had been looking at 'how they did it' in relation to mind control......

and realised that shouting at them - from a distance.....'did it'....i cannot explain more, as yet.....