TOMLINSON told me that 'bouncy ball' was KWAN - I have no idea if he is right or wrong but I am presuming that he was right...looking at the photo, again...that was the first memory that came back as I held the ball...and then put it back in its place...I 'knew' not to remove it, for some reason...slightly altered location, maybe...but basically where it had been before...

I 'know' that TOMLINSON had made it all up...as far as I am concerned...his insanity ran deep...he had lost himself in what RIMINGTON called the 'magic of everyday things'...he actually believed that this 'bouncy ball'...manufactured by the dozen (I have no idea who manufactures them or in what quantity but from the barcode one can guess)...had some sort of 'magical power'...

That is what the TALMUDDY uses against slaves and at a subconscious level...if you are gullible enough to believe it...and as children...put briefly, some kids were a lot more gullible than others...they liked to believe in 'fantasy'...escape into a fantasy world where they 'became' their 'hero/heroine'...saving their loved ones from death, that sort of thing...and the applause and 'love' that came after it...'we were wrong about you'...



Some kids didn't like that particular sort of escapism...if they were going to be a hero or heroine...they didn't fantasy about being a particular MEDIA STEREOTYPE...they fantasised about themselves in real or fabricated situations...and they fantasised about the girl/boy they most loved and their families...and their peer group...all praising them and really LOVING them for once, all saying 'we were wrong about you'...because yes, that was a 'black sheep' fantasy in the main...those who were seen as disobedient to the ill cult and from the day that they were born...to be taken back into the fold and loved.

GILL used to play upon that one - time and time again - in the centre of the fold - loved up to an extreme...then out again into the cold...he knew the whole scenario like the back of his hand...

The things that I learnt - whilst in telepathic partnership with MARTIN GILL...I was a very 'lucky girl'...all exceptionally valuable life experience.

The things that I learnt from MARTIN GILL...and the upshot of it is that you know who you are...and you have an unshakeable conviction in 'who you are' - in or out of the fold.