I had a strange dream last night...about being back in the USA but in an unreal sense...it was all about finishing university and being told that i was assigned to the 'media side of things'...i was then given a private lecture by an academic...upon how all media is controlled....only a certain amount of news is allowed to come out in the USA from a particular news outlet...and then all of the other stations simply copy it and re-use it in their own way...they basically rehashed what the original 'news outlet' had put out....

anyway, i was to meet others who had been sent to the usa...one looked like CAROLINE WESTWOOD - young, in her early 20s....i asked her what she had been assigned to...and she replied that she had been assigned to norway and commodities...she then reeled off a list - starting off with 'gas, oil, gold'....and told me that she was fluent in norwegian....

i was also to meet a young 'julie' - as in tanya's lloyds bank employee friend, from exeter...a few others - whom i had met as teenagers at essex university...and a young roberto cipolla lookalike who had got a scholarship to do something (as the real cipolla had done to pennsylvania - in order to study medicine and computing as a phd)....

i then woke up to remember a 'strange depression' which had been the atmosphere of the whole dream....began to look at ICANHASCHEEZBURGER....and saw that 'cellar' with the trombonists....one of them looked a bit like a blue-eyed gill...and then i 'got it'...and the comments left after that video....one of them was to state 'look it's really hard to play that' - they had sympathy with the band, for some reason...as if they figured that everybody would knock them for it...and i can remember now, gill had left that comment...

i had been picking up the blue-eyed 'double' of gill and his depression, at the time...the CIA LAB had had a look at what bobby's mob was up to....and they were doing something 'mental' but explainable in the following terms...they were trying to re-enact 'what had happened' but with new people....young people....and they had picked 'lookalikes' to boot....i cannot explain it more than that...simply a blind ill cult attempt to recreate what had happened in the past but with new slaves - 'doubles'...in order to 'find out where they had gone wrong' - perhaps?

anyway, i then looked back at what had actually happened to john meldrum's OEDIPUS REX band...

they used to practice in gill's cellar....helen browne took me round there one weekend....we sat and listened to them...the cacophony was almost unbelievable...after they had finished - they asked us what we thought...i asked them about a tune...a melody...even heavy rock bands have a beat and a melody to their songs...the successful ones, that is...meldrum was even making up the words as he went along but you couldn't hear them above the noise that the rest of them were making...GILL was furious "that's the whole POINT - isn't it?"

well looking back at what roz, sonia, myself and another girl from their catholic school had done - as 14 year olds, at toddy's 'try-out' for punk bands...not that we even knew it was called punk...the term hadn't even been coined....it was a new experimental thing, for the programmers - to create a new youth culture....we hadn't known how to play the instruments that we had been given at all....so what was gill telling me?

their 'session' had been all 'in the dark' in a windowless cellar...and the air of depression was really strong....

anyway, the upshot of it all - was that the neighbours complained to the police and a couple of officers came round to sort it out along the lines of 'you want to practice son? well we have a nice cell that you can all practice in'....and that was that, really...they couldn't practice in that cellar anymore....and i begin to wonder now - if that was the whole point?...of the cacophony...for somebody to realise what was going on and put a stop to it....

you see...the trombones and that old-fashioned piece...it is unlikely that the neighbours would complain and put a stop to it...plus the fact that the piece is played in such a sad and depressive way....had uncle bobby figured that he didn't want exposure...he wanted to find a way to continue it without attracting attention?

all i can remember - having viewed the whole thing originally...was picking up on the depression of blue-eyed gill double...it was terrible...'no way out'....locked in a dark cellar....having to play your instrument...and nobody comes....nobody will ever find out....