.....and what else, dazzlenation?...well, remember the 'extractor fan' that MI6 younger had meddled with...it is attached to the ceiling of my linen cupboard...the one that 'peter' is coming round to replace, today...anyway, the one that younger had meddled with - regarding donna's flat and central heating etc etc....it hasn't worked in so long that i cannot remember precisely when he had tampered with it etc etc....anyway, the following clump was also to come up....and i can only conclude that mcgowan must have put a bit of weight on....lol....remember alice in wonderland 'fan' programmers?...well, my extractor fan was put down as a 'lost in space' number, by moore - who had accompanied younger, regarding the symbolic etc etc.....and of course i begin to wonder now....if this is really all about those MI5 files that rimington had managed to 'lose-in-the-system' - circa 1980.....lost in space - had certainly signified something like that, to moore...additionally, even though we had normally called mcgowan by his surname, at all saints primary school...a surname that hanni gloor could remember and for obvious reasons....his first name had been 'leslie'.....marr was to immediately make jokes about etc etc....i then told his gang that hanni had said that it could be both a boy's and a girl's name etc etc......go figure:
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anyway, i have been recently informed that mcgowan is about to turn up at belle court...on an 'extraction' number....now what could that be all about, then - eh?
oh and mcgowan's current address, is coming up, via a radio file - marines...ashmore road, greenwich:
and then a couple of other locations came up, dazzlenation...firstly this 'alien' job in gunnersbury park...planet 'drizzar' anybody?
and then this 'disraeli gardens' putney number...in relation to the garden bench:
remember 'divine' chapman and putney bridge etc etc:
anyway, just throwing things out there...an experimental school project, as far as i can recall...what could the kids remember etc etc....nota bene quasi-collie's insistence that the human brain tends to firstly identify outlines of shapes, to then etc etc:
kind of weird what you come across, isn't it:
"bluetooth" replies BI online:
and so yes, this is all more than a bit 'deja vu' - dazzlenation.....regarding the final location...and yes, mcgowan had said "there's a lily pad pond there" etc etc....go figure:
anyway, in a rather alternate universe, dazzlenation....remember moore running armstrong, who in turn had run oscar etc etc:
oh and they don't do SKY Q services...hyperoptics, anybody etc etc....go figure:
"a bit like an acorn" - litvinsky had said:
oh and i might as well add, as a postscript...a few more notes upon frags and fraggles...let me backtrack to the 70s....those that had been in 4U - who could remember...and let us backtrack now ...the first day of my 'induction' into their class....and yes, some of them had decided to remind me of etc etc......anyway, let me see the whole picture....and yes, timothy bolton, lyn wilcox, michael philpotts (the 'police' table) etc etc could all remember....anyway - let's roll back the decades to langley junior school....my first day....sylvia had taken me in, with her beloved son - RH.....we were both made to stand in mr montgomery's office - the headmaster of the school, whilst the adults discussed etc etc...during which sylvia had told montgomery, in no uncertain terms...and very loudly and vehemently indeed - what a worthless, idle, stupid girl...nobody and nothing etc etc...i had been to a school in paris and looked down upon british schools as a consequence etc etc...whilst her son 'humphrey' was a model of perfection....he stood by her, smiling...i didn't know where to look...RH aka 'humphrey' had violently attacked ms harmer at all saints primary - after she had shown him up for not being as 'capable' as his own year group and then put down a year....whereas, i had been something of a 'teacher's pet' and won the maths prize, at the same school, in london - having 'fitted in' without a problem....anyway, 4U teacher mrs elliot put 2 and 2 together - to make 5.....in relation to sylvia's vitriolic tirade...elliot then went back to 4U in order to tell them that i wasn't a nice girl, at all and to act accordingly...i.e. i should be taught a lesson - seeing as i thought that i was 'better' than all of them etc etc....and the result?....well, who didn't approve of mrs elliot's advice, at that school?.... i.e. to take me down a peg or two or worse....which had then resulted in such bullying - by susan baker's gang etc etc....."extended to the whole class" replies BI online....well, not the boys, in the main (most of them, were to come out upon my side) - only the girls...and the bullying was terrible...likewise at home - extreme bullying by sylvia...psychologically cruel - knowing she had her 'target' in a bind etc etc...social services were always the threat, if i didn't comply to her bullying and threats etc etc.."you think i'm bad..." she used to gloat, with a ghastly grin on her face etc etc...."do you know what social services are really all about?" etc etc...anyway, as her mother, violet clayton - had once said - sylvia had been one of the most terrible bullies out, at combs village school etc etc........and in relation to what had then happened to me at langley juniors?...well, sylvia had made sure that etc etc.....apart from one child - who was then to befriend me...the most popular girl in the class, at that time...isn't it all so odd?....additionally, the only child who had admitted to being jooish, at point i.e. kathryn stocks (because of one of her parents - before, so many others, were to join her in saying that they were also 'jooish' in that class - a bit like the golby family and deb mcd - in relation to her father being a 'mason'...lighting a candle to lucifer upon a friday night etc etc)......anyway, remember where I had been made to sit (the first day at langley juniors) under the watchful eye of norwegian intelligence 'christine' and her bully-girl assistant 'susan baker' - not to mention the violently abusive 'jayne butler' to my left and 'deb mcd' (who had been just as bad, at the time) - to my right, under the control of 'joy rich' (soon to be a holliday 'queen urania').....anyway, having remembered what had happened in montomery's office....how i had 'melted' in shame (although the shame had been hers) - burnt bright red, at such humiliation - at sylvia's hands....buried deep in my subconscious....because it had all been too 'shameful'....branded - by sylvia, in front of authorities that should have known better etc etc....and before i had even begun at that school....do you see how it went?....and yet how easy it is...to get rid of that shame, later on...once you have unearthed the whole thing, in order to get closure etc etc....particularly when you remember the wave of sympathy - emanating from the whole school - seated upon the grass, that sportsday...not just nervous laughter but real sympathy was to emerge later on - after sylvia had swung a punch at me and missed etc etc....the other children knew...they finally understood and then began to make it up to me etc etc....as it goes, eh?
oh and to add a postscript to the above postscript....in short, timothy boldon had made the whole school laugh, about sylvia - that sportsday, at langley juniors....after her 'swing' at me.....you see - after her swing at me and missing, I might add - she had held up both of her arms, like a champion boxer, in the ring...a large woman, over-weight and muscular...about 5 foot 4...in a flowery summer dress and largish summery straw hat....and yes, she had been flailing around - quite a bit, beforehand...revealing a large amount of very dark if not black 'underarm' hair....visible to all present...remember how sylvia used to describe herself as a 'honey blonde'?..how delusional etc etc....and yes, the kids had laughed nervously at first - at that violent fist-throw....but as she continued to flail around - with her arms and fists...showing that underarm hair - which no self-respecting female did in solihull at that point - early 70s...ex-foliation was an unspoken 'rule', let us say i.e. turning yourself into an adult female body that looked like a child...rather than being a 'real woman' - regarding that paedophile cult's horror of a 'real woman's presence etc etc.......i digress...'all of that' had been going on- whilst sylvia had been talking to the headmaster and a certain teacher (MOD job i.e. woodall, who had known her rather well).....and well, you see how it goes, don't you?..."an MOD chimp" replies BI online....and so i was 'caught' - as in emotionally....between wanting to protect her from etc etc and yet, at the same time - she had effectively humiliated me and in the most terrible way, in front of the whole school - whilst thinking that she had wanted to destroy me....having conflated me with of all of those 'middle-class' girls who had given her such a hard time at st felix etc etc....in short, once sylvia had made up her mind - there was no peace, to be made between us (a bit like lisa smith nee 'forster') and there was nothing i could do....regarding her relentless attacks and for pretty much a lifetime i.e. she just used to shrug me off with a stony look to her face...and all because of that 'living the dream' horror....hmmm...and that is because apparently i didn't know (although i was to work it out, later on)....that she was 'queen' (volumnia) and her son RH was heir to the throne...primogeniture and all of that - something that he used to tell all of his siblings, including myself etc etc.....remember RH sounding off about 'that one' and so frequently etc etc....and after having been suspended from all saints school for violently attacking his teacher - he was then given the opportunity of entering the year below - seeing as he couldn't keep up, academically with his own age group...sylvia wasn't having any of it and nor was RH....along the lines of RH telling me "i don't care! i didn't want to go anyway!"...he was then kept at home, until the whole family moved to solihull etc etc....and what else - dazzlenation?...well, before adoption....i had been 'peasant' class, from switzerland - opposed to sylvia's 'working class' from england...she was my mother - and not one of those 'middle-class bitches' from st felix etc etc......in short, my heart had bled for her and not for them, around that sports track on the field - at the time and continued to do - over the decades....and from the earliest of ages....but what was worse...is that i had begun to internalise....that i was the problem, not her - whereas, in effect i had been very much her 'problem' - seeing as i could learn just about anything and so quickly and get 'above average' results...unlike her or her beloved son for that matter - see previous notes upon whalley and stenson finding out - from combs villagers (everybody knew) that her parents had cheated her way through the 11+ exam and into a place at st felix etc etc.....and so in summary, i had tried to 'mend' what couldn't be 'mended' - because it had so much history attached...yet still....i loved her...loved her more than those who had laughed, let us say...and it was so painful, over the decades...as she and her sommerville 'champagne socialist' friends - turned into 'absolutely fabulous' characters....i.e what that MOD 'project' had reduced sylvia to...rather like eliza manningham-buller - the epilepsy, the blackouts, the enduring threat of 'migraines' with coloured lights and hallucinations etc etc....and they all knew...they had all known and from so long ago....MOD woodall, head-master montgomery - dr guy houghton, his sidekick wife dr jenny ramsay - in control of that 'noah's ark' drugging and torture/trauma program...and in my generation?....rather like lisa forster who then changed her name to 'smith'....all so very heart-breaking....not to mention what was to happen to mrs fishwick etc etc......anyway, brooke bond/ PG tips anybody....see previous notes upon 'all of that'..."sylvia and friends dressed up for a somerville reunion" replies BI online....hmmm...and for my own part - i'm reminded of alice in the courtroom....alice at the red and white queen's banquet....whereas i had had to attend so many PG tips chimps' tea parties - to then pull the tablecloth away, so to speak....all metaphorical of course....cross it with that scene from space odyssey 2001 etc etc..."the flowery tea cups"...oh so that is where 'that one' had all begun? ....go figure:
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