OTHER NOTES:

oh I remember now...what was behind my 'tirade' against extreme makeover tv programmes, this morning...so many years ago now...US intelligence had informed me that they had cathy under surveillance...working at the MOD but also bizarrely enough - behind one of those tragically 'extreme' shows...which she defended to the hilt...what had she really been up to, then? I can remember somebody saying that cathy had got too fond of 'slicing and dicing'....an American McGee's alice phrase? anyway, I was to get in touch with cathy...who was to tell me, angrily....that she was planning upon a 'boudicea' future for myself...a really 'bloody one'....I was furious...and told her that I did not identify with any 'story' particularly not one that didn't end well...so she could stuff her 'boudicea/joan of arc' futures....I was going to be plain old 'me' and nobody else....nobody was going to plan a 'terrible end' for me...."look at what happens in the end..." - I used to tell so many mkultra victims 'that one'....look at what happens at the end of the story and make sure that you do not identify with that 'tragic' character etc etc....oh and cathy had been ling's boss at the time....go figure...