MY3 this morning...a 'shooting stars' reference through a laptop?

let me see....Farrell's day in the flat? he was 'taken under the wing' of the no-lan sisters, during holidays by the sea....during which they were to further his education in terms of teaching him to read and write properly....why was that necessary in relation to him being one of the 'brightest boys' at all saint's primary?
....because after leaving the british isles...taken by his mother, back to Ireland....well their relationship was never a 'good one'....his mother was a bit like mine...a bit like the type of mother that MRS BROWN'S BOYS pisstakes - but only in a friendly way because everybody loves her, don't they? the way that women as 'matriarchs' gain and hold onto power...sometimes in very underhand ways but 'necessary' if you know what I mean....along the lines of my own mother "did I say that? I did NOT..." and then you are deemed a 'liar' if you ever mention it again - something that she would rather not remember, that she had once said....additionally 'she changes like the wind' in terms of opinions....you are never on 'safe ground' to quote her former opinion upon 'anything'....never on safe ground to quote anything from her past....a very changeable mixture....dr ramsey was to say of her former colleague dr Sylvia gyde...that she was the most CAPRICIOUS woman that she had ever met....I was to wonder at the choice of word...

...however I am now getting a grip on it all...e.g. understanding that type of 'capricious behaviour' in terms of controlling her entire 'somewhat dysfunctional' family - and particularly in relation to her 'boys' - husband included, in 'that one'....

perhaps Farrell had tried to be his mother, to his own family...after the demise of his mother....an unfortunate choice but understandable...."just be yourself" replies BI ONLINE.

what else? Farrell's mother would never allow the 'easy relationship' that he had wanted....because they were too much alike....fighters to the last....and so after the next 'heavy duty argument'...he would then try to make amends...normally in 'the kitchen'...she would then give him violent and stormy tears - as if it were 'all his fault'...her life and 'everything'....for him to leave, non-plussed and unable to do anything to 'put that relationship' right....there wasn't anything he could do, of course....because she didn't want it 'put right' - that is the way that she was....

mrs graham at 104 st bernards road, had once said something around the above - about her youngest son....see previous notes upon her taking that eng lit class at sixth form....she was to tell me that she understood it i.e. her youngest son was too much like her...and that was why they fought all the time....but she wasn't able to stop it....the repeat performance of so much antagonism and fighting....whilst her other son 'ben' was so much like his father...so easy to get on with....she had wanted to find a way out of such an emotional, 'relationship trap', but she couldn't do...and so she just had to live with it - and so had 'tom' her youngest son....that simple. mrs graham was to tell me that I wouldn't believe how violent the arguments could become e.g. the shouting at massive decibels and the 'fist threatening' etc....normally resulting in tom walking out of the frontdoor....and that was from an early age....

"so she always won then?" replies BI ONLINE in relation to tom normally walking out the front door of number 104 and not returning for days - whilst still a young teenager (under 16 - tom used to go and stay at one of his mate's family houses)....naturally - she was his mother, wasn't she?


...and that is 'the way it is' when you don't get on with your mother....or rather when she has decided that she doesn't get on with you....and that is often because 'you are too much like each other' and she cannot bear the thought....strange but true - for a budding narcissistic personality - which most teenagers are, in a way....if you remind her too much of herself 'when young' and before she polished up 'whatever she had been as a teenager'...you've had it...

"I was like that? when I was young? oh - KILL IT" replies BI ONLINE...mimicking colin's mum, when young...and confronted with a baby that was carrying her own blood disorder.

...in relation to colin's blood disorder having been passed down upon his mother's side - as a hereditary gene - not bad if you do not mate with somebody who has the 'same thing' - so what was Richard harris all about then? or something like that....I do not profess to know anything about medical science....perhaps a certain hereditary disease might occur with 'only one parent' but not necessarily - and jump a generation or two....that type of thing....."it would certainly be reinforced by two (parents having the same thing)" replies BI ONLINE.

"IT'S JUST LIKE ME - KILL IT" replies BI ONLINE...having read Sonia fisher and mark vizard's future script....oh I see...another NWO number, designed to destroy the family? you mean that 'ingabot vegetables on heroin' are so much easier to rear...no trouble at all....but try doing the same to your own flesh and blood? a bit more of a 'challenge' - that sort of thing?

look...all I can say to that is this...if you want to grow 'vegetables' get yourself a garden, a back field, an allotment plot and grow them....if you want playful 'babies' get kittens and a dirt box....if you want obedient 'babies' get a puppy or two....but do NOT decide that you want to be parents of human beings - if you figure that the process of bringing up baby, is rather like tending veggies on heroin - with the playful/obedient injection, now and then....


OTHER NOTES:

....what else? well colin was taken to Ireland, by his mother......to escape all things 'blackheath' including Richard harris....but things didn't end happily there....
the upshot was that 'little colin' was taken back into the care of his aristocratic father....and then made to live in a 'windy castle'....with a whole load of servants who were 'non-communicative' apart from to receive orders, to say the least....Richard harris had told his young son that 'education was worthless' and so he had been provided with no teacher/tutor.....and no tv....and so what happened next? well he tried to make conversation with the servants around but it was useless....so he retreated into himself....and learnt everything about 'gun shot', 'bullets', 'guns' in the kitchen....as well as horseriding almost everyday....

and at that point, in his young life...the no-lan sisters were to take him under their wing, upon family holidays in that spacious house, by the coast....and attempt to teach the belligerent boy, how to read and write....he was 'non-communicative' to say the least, at that point in his young life...knowing no other way to be....see above....you see, almost nobody had said 'more than a few words to him' in a couple of years....