...and what's new this evening?...well, first up - the post came, today....namely - my bank statement, a letter from the HSBC and a letter from CHP...

now, how shall i begin?...with the HSBC letter....which totals 5 sheets of A4 paper (two of which are printed on both sides) and a PO box envelope addressed as follows:

HSBC - PO BOX 274 - WYMONDHAM - NR18 8EL

...and what in essence, is the HSBC asking me to do?...well, apparently i am from a 'selected pool' of customers...those who have to prove they are 'who they say they are' by the usual method - i.e. two photocopied documents...e.g. your passport and a utility bill...

additionally, the documents have to be 'certified' by an 'approved certifier'...the list is a long one....32 professions are included within the list...and it begins with 'airline pilot'...mentions 'person with honours - e.g. an OBE or MBE' and ends up with 'warrant officers and chief petty officers'...go figure.

next up...one page is devoted to a 'new online tool' called JUMIO...apparently this is the quick and easy way to provide the HSBC with your documents - providing you have a computer equipped with a webcam and scanner....go figure.

anyway, having browsed through all of the sheets....i realised that this was a 'kate wood' number....see previous notes upon the most ridiculous, time-wasting systems imaginable...those that kate, lisa and susan used to come up with...at the prague british council DTO 1994-6.

More importantly, i realised that even though the HSBC appeared to be 'safeguarding against fraudulent transactions and safeguarding against financial crime'...what they are actually doing...is putting that pool of customers 'at risk' by their demands....

and how might one be put 'at risk' by their demands - dear reader?

well, first up...the prepaid envelope...equivalent of a second-class stamp....lots of mail gets lost everyday, in the post...sackloads of it...and the HSBC are asking me to send important information containing my ID details by an unsecured postal service which cannot be tracked and traced.

next up...JUMIO...now, a new computer system always has 'teething problems'....therefore it isn't necessarily a good idea to use it in order to obtain the most important information of all i.e. the documented ID of their customers, is it?

i then did a scan...to find out that it was even worse than that....quasi-collie's mob at work, again...remember that 'dirty tricks department'?...remember those like 'heather laing' at warwick?...along with MI6 richard tomlinson?...both had been programmed 'hermit crabs' - 'hermit' being a reference to the 'romanov' number i.e. russian royalty...'the hermitage' etc etc. Anyway, the MI6 'hermit crab' programmed officers had been put in charge of stealing the ID of HSBC customers - and they have set up a system to do so, at the royal mail and that wymondham office. 'Hermit crabs'...hmm...the whole thing has a 'kafka'/eastern european/iron curtain/bureaucratic flavour...go figure.

Additionally, quasi-collie's 'hermit crabs' were to laugh...that they would make trouble for me...regarding what quasi-collie had done, in relation to renewing my passport, through bassnett's centre at warwick 1997...see previous notes upon quasi-collie changing the spelling of my middle name from BOHUN to BOHON...and refusing to change it....despite my protests that this was the name upon my birth certificate....quasi-collie was having one of her 'mental attacks' at the time and told me that 'bohon' was a place in germany...and that there was no such surname as 'bohun'....i then decided to let it go because she wouldn't budge...she was clearly mad....okay, so there might be a place in germany called 'bohon' but so what?....there is also a family surname 'bohun' and there was no reason why, as far as i could fathom - why quasi-collie had decided to tamper with my ID details (those upon my birth certificate) and change BOHUN to BOHON but what could i do?

Anyway, i was to use that passport to open my HSBC account at the harwich branch, so many years ago now...and so the name BOHON appears upon my HSBC account. Now that i have renewed my passport again, recently - whilst living in clacton - i was to correct quasi-collie's misspelling of my middle name 'bohun' - and so when i present my passport as ID - well, do you see what quasi-collie's mob were hoping to 'get' me, on?

hmmm...and so all in all...i thought....if the 'criminal classes' haven't already got my passport details etc etc...they will have by the time that envelope reaches the wymondham office...secondly, i can expect more 'aggro' from those sick drug-addicts at MI6...the programmed 'hermit crab' division - regarding the difference in spelling between 'bohon' and 'bohun' etc etc.

...and what else? well, one other thing - the HSBC letter tells you 'in the small print' that you can take your documents into a local branch "who'll be happy to assist you with updating your documentation".

however it is implied that this will not be enough - you then have to either use JUMIO or send your documents off in that prepaid envelope.

...now isn't that the stupidest thing, imaginable?....because the quickest and easiest way for the HSBC to update ID details - is to get it all done at a local branch i.e. you walk in with your documents and photocopies...a branch manager then checks them - and enters the information upon their computer - safe, easy, secure....they know you - because you've been into the bank enough times, already...you're on their cctv etc etc...or don't they trust their own staff to be 'approved certifiers'?

...and so instead...you are given 'the run around'...told to find an appropriate 'professional'...told to use 'JUMIO' or another 'insecure' way of sending your documents - to a PO box, of all things....because I would NEVER send my passport details through the post - unless i had a 'signed for' service - a complete 'track and trace' royal mail operation.

...and so that is why i have labelled this idiotic HSBC demand-for-proof-of-ID...a 'block of wood' number....a system that wastes time, energy and money...because you can bet that the wymondham office will find 'something wrong' with whatever that select pool of customers sends in...i can just 'hear' block of wood whining...."but that isn't quite right, is it?....we'll need another document" etc etc...such a waste of everybody's time and money....go figure.

....oh and to cap it all off....the person who sent out the letter...a certain KAREN MAYNARD SENIOR BANKING OPERATIONS MANAGER....has signed the letter...and her handwriting in relation to the signature - looks like that of a retarded child - writing in pencil, yes - in pencil....although it is a photocopied signature...it looks as if the original had been written in thick pencil.

seriously, it does....a thick pencil signature....written by somebody who looks as if they have only just learned how to do 'joined up letters'...i will post a photograph of it, in a later post...comparing it to the signature upon that CHP letter.

...because the CHP signature...looks like a great many other 'adult signatures'...a generic type of handwriting which is very clear...with easily read 'rounded letters'...LORRAINE COLEMAN RESIDENTIAL OFFICER has the writing of say...deborah mcdonough and helen browne....quite a lot of people have that 'style'...whereas with KAREN MAYNARD....well, you only have to look at that signature to realise that there is something 'very wrong' indeed....go figure.

oh and what is that CHP letter all about? well, it details what CHP are going to do about the water supply and promises to update residents by phone and in writing - regarding when there will be no water to the property...go figure.

anyway, so what am i do to with that HSBC letter?...hmmm....best to go into my local branch and see if they will deal with it.....without having to use JUMIO or put my important photocopied documents into an insecure 'prepaid PO box' envelope etc etc...

...and if they are not allowed to deal with it...then questions have to be asked....for example - why does the HSBC not trust their own staff to be approved certifiers? There is an option upon the list for 'FINANCIAL SERVICES INTERMEDIARY E.G. STOCKBROKER OR INSURANCE BROKER'....and so why not an HSBC manager?

Do they have an 'internal mail' through which to send that prepaid envelope - one that would be more secure, than using the royal mail?...go figure.

oh and i'll take both of my passports in...to show the different spellings...'bohun' and 'bohon' if anybody wants to quibble about it....but i don't suppose they will - now that i have exposed the lot of them - upon this blog...what do you think, dear reader?

...on the other hand...i am dealing with a bunch of drug-addicted 'retards' on the incremental (chip)....who 'earn it by being evil'...and so who knows eh?....see previous notes upon mark r laughing about how if anybody who was actually 'intelligent' managed to get into MI6 -then they were weeded out, soon enough....no joke....braindead, unquestioningly obedient slaves, was the order of the day.

...and so if anybody crosses me...i will 'out' every name....every single one of them, upon this blog...remember what happened in interlaken - this time, last year - MI6? ....because i really wouldn't cross me, if i were you - seeing as the pentagon are now involved - see previous notes upon 'pippa chuckie doll' etc etc......go figure.