OTHER NOTES:

...only 'silliness' today, really...in terms of notes...

...first up - a certain song by rod stewart - "this old heart of mine...broke a thousand times...each time you breakaway"....something that mark r and the taschmanns had taken note of 'so many years ago now'....they had figured that 'little colin' whilst in 'giraffe mode'...might attempt to get his hands upon them all (and not just 'gill'....the eldest taschmann was to say "it's not just gill, is it?")....in terms of 'dog whistles, electronic dog colars, whips and chains' because he had seriously 'gone off his head' at that point - during a certain templar castle function...in the south of france.

'little colin' tends to hoard that sort of equipment in certain residences....see above...along with previous notes.

anyway, the 'track laid down' by mark r and the taschmanns had been along the lines of 'breakway biscuits'....a bit like club biscuits but larger...with the accompanying song "the runaway train went over the hill and it blew"......

"let's have a breakaway!" etc etc...

'little colin' might have known that i hated bob dylan but did he know that i had thought a certain 'rod stewart' video...to be somewhat 'unconvincing'?...and yes i know that it is hard to stare into a camera lens, with a big fat cameraman behind it...and sing "i lu....uh...uh...ve...you, yes i do-ooh..." but anyway....go figure....because this morning, 'little colin' had been playing 'that song' down the 'subliminal' airways....and to what effect, i wondered....

what else? I had a look at those films-on-dvd that i haven't watched, as yet....to realise that BEN STILLER was reminding me of 'rod stewart' in a way - in that pop promo video...something about the highlighted hair...along with 'something about the eyes' and the 'dot of a moustache' under his lower lip - in terms of his projection...in the role of 'whoever' in the film GRAB LIFE BY THE BALLS, which i haven't seen 'upon this side of the mirror'....go figure.

...the 'breakaway biscuit' is also associated with my old 'stance' on heart-break...see previous notes...upon how it is so difficult to be the one, who stands upon the railway station - whilst the loved one, departs upon a train....particularly if it is a metaphor for the death of a loved one....because you're the one that is going to suffer and not 'whoever' upon that train....on their way to a new and 'exciting/horrifying/edifying...' (whatever adjective you think is appropriate) unknown destination....additionally see previous notes upon my dad...thinking that 'the last time he had seen his father' was upon a swiss railway station - just before his father boarded a swiss train - to go to a swiss residential home for the 'terminally ill', in the alps...to be very wrong, indeed - in relation to the age that his father was to die (his father lived for many years afterwards) - and in which country (a NY hotel)....see previous notes upon 'all of that'.

let's get back to rod stewart...he used to sing songs that appeared to target 'older women' quite a bit....'maggie' etc etc...whilst dating and then marrying...younger and younger women, over the years....let me try and remember....mainly 'blondes'?...."this old heart of mine"....no wonder he used to make the men laugh....as the women fans, swooned over their icon....

love....love and your 'first love'...of course a child experiences 'love' for the first time - for their parents/adoptive parents/guardian..."and freud was quite wrong in saying that there was anything sexual about it" replies MI5 ONLINE....incest, complicates the picture though, doesn't it?...go figure as to what the ill cult are 'all about'....

...and so i wonder now...rod stewart and "that old heart of mine"...it is such a 'pure song' in a way and not 'sexual'....perhaps he had been really singing about his mother? see previous notes upon CF and his tortuous relationship, with his own mother....you see - lisa and MI5 jon had 'put me on' to 'that one'....in prague 1995...by singing rod stewart songs...to then talk about how that had been their 'summer of loeve' in the 70s...the year in which both of their mothers - had left their fathers...leaving such a gap, such a hole in the family 'fabric'....such a painful, emotional gap...so much so....that they had identified with rod's love song...."don't leave - please don't leave" lisa was to say - but her mother had done, hadn't she? lisa's mother had been formerly married to a 'police chief' in the UK...but apparently, she'd then 'had enough'...to then go off and marry a millionnaire...afterwards, lisa was to visit her mother in hongkong, now and then...go figure....and the 'reception' had been 'frosty' hadn't it?..... "lisa's mother didn't like her much either - in the same boat" replies MI5 ONLINE....never a 'warm welcome' then?...."nor did jon's"....all in the same boat, then?....and so?....."you're never alone, 'little colin' - get over it" ....because it's just 'one of those things' isn't it?....so your mother didn't like you, that much - as a child and nor did she like you that much - as an adult....get over it and get on with your life....because it happens to so many of us...and we all 'get on with it' afterwards, regardless.

OTHER NOTES:

....for my own part....when i think of that stupid song that those at 'green tower' (such as gill) had loved so much...."all the money in the world couldn't bring back those days" - that zygote slavery song...well, what was the singer thinking of?...his own teenage past? i hated my teenage years....i had to 'oar my way' across a 'sinking mud' polluted mere in order to...etc etc....whilst in the role of a PIE slave....to a MAG...magician....as a teenager and into his early twenties....gill used to have a photo of me, in his wallet as a very young child....whilst telling his 'gang'..."that's my girlfriend" with a laugh....because "because it feels so good, it can't be wrong"...i.e. having sex with a woman mind control slave, whilst in a 'baby alter'...."that's ALBERT...because i met her at the albert" etc etc...

suffice to say, when i look at my past...it is rather like looking at a 'zoo'....it is behind bars....it can no longer harm me...and i can now see it as 'entertainment'...but that is all....go figure.