i was to watch the BUXTON to LONDON set of episodes last night - to remember a whole raft of memories...

...firstly i was to remember the 'train' and the 'soul train'...and something that portillo had known about my own programming from another episode, not related to the above...an abandoned railway station opposed to the station that had never been used in the above set of episodes...one that trains didn't pass through any more...now what could be meant by that one? you mean those like the GAF are driving their 'soul trains' through other 'stations' at present and i am left a 'grass widow'...something like that?

'soul train' = network replies MI5 ONLINE...."they put you out to grass without a penny"....well, so far - so usual...

next up i was to notice the exterior of a modern train, at walsall station, or on that line...it had a 'light green icon of a train' upon the side, by the doors...i immediately knew what that was referring to...the tri-part image upon google translate...it represented 'soul' on the scientology 'diagram'...and that is why i was to make the connection 'soul-train'....see above.

what is this all leading up to?

well firstly the indian restaurant serving real indian food and not a bastardisation of it as in 'baltis' and 'curries'...i was to remember being in that restaurant - with quite a few people - seated down a long table - how many? at least 20, i would say....anyway, i was seated by colin - at the end...my parents were 'in the middle' and seated opposite to michael portillo....MW and HR walked in...they were 'invisibles' to everybody but colin and myself...and so was a table at the top of the long table...the two tables were to form a T....the table at the top, was laden with small 'side dishes'...spoons and small plates were available....nobody at the long table touched a thing...they didn't even appear to know about that 'side dish table'...colin and i got up to sample the lot...as he had a 'delicate stomach' and was inclined to throw up if he ate too much - see previous notes upon 'little colin realtek crab'...i was to do most of the sampling...to find the two dishes that HR had set aside for 'don't touch the green' programming...there were 3 'green vegetable' dishes on that table...one to the left and two to the right...it was the two to the right...

next up...portillo was to realise what was going on and invite my father to sample the side dishes...he was to come to the same conclusion...

portillo visits the above restaurant in one of the episodes and cooks prawns, in the kitchen...under the guidance of one of the many chefs...

anyway, whilst let us now 'go back in time' again...to portillo and my father sampling the side dishes...colin had spotted somebody that he knew...called 'ted' who was in taschmann alter...he was also walking through the restaurant as an 'invisible'...we managed to get control of him with a syringe and stungun...MI5 then held him at a safe house, in order to interrogate him...the last thing i know about 'all of that' is portillo being told that ted's equipment had been norwegian but that didn't necessarily mean a thing...anybody can use any 'nationality' equipment...as far as i know...'ted' was most terrified of ukrainians and south afrikaans, in relation to mafias ...

...what else...MATLOCK and matt smith...something around matt trying to lock everything up...

'little switzerland'...ingabot was to admit that my family had been programmed by inga, with 'that one'...

oh and that 'coventry drinking fountain'...the 'daschund with rheumatism' had been a joke...a reminder to gill of the ill cult curse upon the networks...a taschmann one in relation to smashing up his legs...and apparently the curse could be lifted by drinking from that fountain, according to colin...

what else? i was to suddenly realise...having seen so many of those 'network maps' upon series 1 episodes...that they were rather like 'constellations'...in short, there had to be a link up...for example...one 'map' was to show the viewer what looked like what is commonly called 'the plough' star constellation - a bit like a hook...come to think of it, that black bit of wire, that i was to pick up from the dais floor in QD...had looked rather like that...a reminder?

....what else? oh this is the worst memory of the lot...and to make things even more terrible...so many years ago now, whilst i was attending bournville art college 1985...gill had decided that i had been too badly frightened by it all...and taken all of my memories away...

...watch portillo run for the train at bournville station...he couldn't wait to get away from the place, could he, MI5 toby?

so what had happened?

well, as a bournville art student...if i missed 'the only morning bus' from acocks green which went 'all around the houses' to bournville...i would have to take the train into b'ham from olton station...change to new street station and catch another train out to bournville...nota bene the 'selly oak' railway stop, on that line...it will be connected to the prague rothschild and 'tree programmers'....

anyway, once at bournville station and normally rather late...the quickest route to the college was through the bournville chocolate factory gates nearest to the station and then out the factory gates, upon the other side of the compound...the gates were kept open during 'hours of work'...

now in my 'form class' at bournville art college, were three 'brummie' students...i cannot remember their names anymore...nor anybody else's for that matter...and so that is how i will distinguish them 'from the rest'...they were set apart in terms of dialect because almost all of the rest of them were from the suburbs of b'ham.....and either didn't have that accent - or not such a strong one...including 'brood clone' who had more of a london accent which she then masked with a bit of brummie, on top...

the three brummies...a teenage girl and two teenage boys...formed a strong clique from the beginning...i have already talked about how they had been on the 'russian list'...and how nobody else had been...another thing which 'set them apart'...anyway, everybody liked them..they were very jolly and rather loud...and very talented at whatever they turned their hands to...

so what happened then? well - the three brummies were to tell the rest of us that they had been to the shop within that bournville factory compound...the shop that sold 'reject products'...apparently, you could get fancy boxes of chocolate that were a bit damaged, for a song...the shop was on that cobbled street which ran through the compound, from gate to gate - about 'halfway through' the compound...

anyway, the whole class decided to have a look...unfortunately for us - the shop assistant, that day...was to decide to ask for ID...we hadn't known that we weren't allowed to walk through the compound...although we had realised that we probably weren't allowed to buy cut-price chocolate....a privilege only for the employees...upon reflection, the three brummies had probably got away with it the first time i.e. 'walking into the shop, without uniform on' - because of their dialect....additionally they had walked into that shop 'after hours' just before 5pm, as far as i can remember...and some of the employees used to 'shop there' after having changed into their ordinary clothes, to go home...

...the manager appeared out of 'thin air'...he was in charge of the entire factory...to welcome us to bournville (a bit like charlie and the chocolate factory, you might say)...to invite us all to a 'tour' of the factory...and yes he obviously knew enough about mind control, to signal us all 'under' and so yes, we had all been MKULTRA programmed...

anyway, gill was surveying the whole thing, upon his tannoy system...along with colin...and this is where the nightmare began...

after the whole thing was over...gill was to ask me "why didn't you run?" at the above point in time...well, it was impossible...nobody was able to run...and that was because of the 'equipment' inside of the building...a certain radio room....

let me now return to that cobbled street...we were all led into the main factory building...and taken upstairs...we all knew that something 'terrible' was about to happen...luckily, colin was then to tell me what to do, on the tannoy system...he was to relay on a sequence....i was to say a few words in latin....'for effect' more than anything, i suppose (the manager was catholic - the GAF had done their research and we had all walked in there 'blind')...anyway, i then punched in the signals...an MOD code...the manager was now under my control...i asked him where the radio room was...and then to take me there...once inside of the room...gill was to tell me to 'jam the signal'...i was able to do so but not 'set the controls' so that it couldn't be undone....there was a terrible 'screeching' in the air...i turned to the manager and told him that he was now free...and could he show me the exit, please? he was to walk quickly down the corridor with me...to the stairs...we were then met by two men running up it...they asked me for ID...the manager covered for me "we left both our passes in my office"...the men let us go...i was to hear one of them say "she's probably a temporary secretary"....as they headed towards the radio room...

...the manager showed me the fire exit...and then closed the door after me...i began to run down the fire escape...to then be stopped in my tracks by an overwhelming dizziness...i am not good at heights, at the best of times...but this was something different...a bit like what the two at that 'theremin base' in germany, had experienced....those two men had turned the system back on...and done something 'terrible'...i looked down at the cobbled street...every single employee had been stopped dead in their tracks...like statues...all in uniform...i decided to continue my descent 'backwards' down the fire escape...so that i didn't have to look....i was shaking...my hand on the rail....

anyway, having got to the bottom...gill was to tell me "run!"...my legs were like jelly at first but i managed to do so...dodging around those employees, on that cobbled street...those employees who were now 'animated' again...but like zombies...they had all turned, to then slowly walk towards me...i can remember bumping into one male employee in my panic to get to the gate nearest to the art college...he appeared to 'wake up' from zombie mode and then yelled to the others "it's her! get her!"...but luckily none of the rest of them responded...and he then went back into 'zombie mode'...they were all now walking back to the factory...a recall signal?

the next thing i can remember is hearing the three brummies...they had made it to the gate before me...yelling encouragement...once at the gates...we all turned around to look back...i can remember the girl, taking the golden cross around her neck and holding it up...she held it up as if to protect herself from the building and those 'zombified employees'...she was furious...she yelled 'something' at them all but i cannot remember what it was, now...the next thing i remember is the four of us, out on the street, outside of the compound....the teenage boys then managed to hail a passing taxi and we all jumped in...we knew that we had to get out of the entire area....once in the taxi, we pooled our money...we decided on a plan of action...the taxi would drop the boys off first...they lived very near to each other...and then it would drop off me and the girl, at her home - in smethwick - as far as i can recall...anyway, we didn't have enough money for a longer ride...

once at her home...she was to tell me that she lived with her mother...the kitchen was so dark and she refused to turn the light on...it was really spooky...lots of 'strange objects' around, in the dark...i was to see a silhouetted stepladder and a noose hanging from the ceiling...i had no idea what was going on...and was already badly frightened....she made a cup of tea to calm me down...i was beginning to wonder if i had left one 'nightmare' for another in relation to 'psycho and her mother'...but she was so nice and down-to-earth that i didn't want to believe anything like that...i even invited her over to my parents' at the weekend...she asked me if she could bring her mother...i replied that it would be rather awkward...."i can't leave her on her own" she replied....anyway, i then made a phonecall to gill...to tell him to pick me up now...he replied that he couldn't get his father's car until the afternoon...i yelled at him that he had better do and NOW...etc etc...

gill turned up about half an hour later...he was to enter the kitchen "a bit dingy in here?"..."oh isn't this an aladdin's cave?"....having got some light on...to see what his surroundings were all about...well, how do i explain it?

....the teenage girl and her mother were being persecuted by the ill, and to the nth degree...she was extremely talented at art/sculpture and had made quite a few of the 'objets d'art' around the kitchen....as well as what farrell was to call 'voodoo dolls' whilst looking at something, on one of the shelves...and yes, he was to turn up too...a bit later on...

so what were all of those objets d'art all about? well the 'golden lamp' on one of the shelves - was the biggest clue...the mother knew about remoteviewing and 'genies'...and so, if her daughter turned up 'without memories'...she used to hang her, from the kitchen ceiling....

....for her daughter to then go into remoteviewing alter/OBE/NDE...and her mother would then 'take her down' and ask her daughter 'what had happened to her, that day'...to then write it all down, whilst seated at the kitchen table...to then tell her daughter 'what she had said whilst remoteviewing'...in order to keep her safe...in order to keep them both safe.

...the objets d'art were all memory aids...just in case 'both of them were got, at the same time'...gill was to ask the teenage girl if she had to hang her mother too? she replied that it wasn't that often...but yes, she sometimes had to do so, too....gill realised that this had to stop..."you'll kill each other, in the end"...he then promised them, help from the council...he knew a few people, he could pull a few strings...a grant to do up the place, i suppose and a 'home help'...that sort of thing...

anyway, having dealt with the situation...gill was to take me back to his father's car...once inside...he was to tell me that i had been too badly frightened...and therefore, he wasn't going to let me remember a thing...

it is all so unfair...to bury trauma...it is definitely not a good way to deal with it, is it?

OTHER NOTES:

so what was going on at bournville and who were those two men, who controlled the manager? i have no idea...the only 'clue' so far...appears to be 'the quakers'...and it is something around scarlett and his quaker group, at magdalen college oxford...see previous notes upon scarlett introducing RH to a way of 'cheating the system' by listening to a radio pulse...

what else? well portillo talks about the station...like a chocolate bar...in purple...he then repeats 'that one' before he takes a train out of there...is this all about 'lord hume' again and 'christine - now she's in purple, now she's a turtle'....let me see...had the teenage girl been called christine? she might have been...yes she had been....i can remember the way that her 'clique' used to pronounce it...a unique pronunciation.

apart from that...i can remember being back at college....for the trio to tell me...the blond teenage boy was to tell me that he was jooish orthodox "and so's your boyfriend"...yes they now knew all about gill...who was to turn up at that college, at some point...to then be 'got' by the brood clone - see previous notes...secondly christine had been catholic...