my notes from yesterday - rather rambling notes because i hadn't quite remembered what i had to...until this morning:

OTHER NOTES:

a lovely sunny day, this morning and in clacton as well as manningtree...

i took the bus to manningtree - walked to my parents' house....gave mum her birthday presents....both my parents were in high spirits....and we had a jolly morning doing 'various things' and then i took the bus back to clacton....

so as my mother had once told me 'on the phone'...along the lines of "you think the 'illuminati' are always out to get you - but nothing bad is going to happen"

well all i can say to that one is 'thank you for having so much faith in what the rebel group had done - in order to secure a safe future for us all'....and my parents were part of it too, i might add - an inter-generational thing.....MY PARENTS' generation is about a decade older than BRENDA AND EMET who were about a decade older than GILL and i....you see why a film like RED could appeal to 'anybody over 40'?

those in their 100s....90s....80s....70s....60s - and also those in their 50s and 40s.....who feel like they have been 'retired' by this predominant 'want' in 'PETER PAN' western culture - to look forever young (unless resculptured by plastic surgeons into looking 30 again) - even if they are nowhere near the age of retirement....

"a feelgood movie" replies BI ONLINE.

why do academics talk about 'desire' instead of 'want'? i asked heather laing at warwick in 1997.....'desire' seemed to be a very erotic and sexually charged word.....why not just 'want'...?

so you 'want' to be young again...to be youthful...to be seen as 'youthful' and to reclaim those pleasures of your youth.....pleasures that were multifold and not just 'sexual'....

why confuse 'wanting to be young at heart (and looking young) with ONLY sexuality? and ONLY sexual drive?

too many things have been conflated into that 'bundle' haven't they?

It SMACKS of freudianism to me....not everything that you do, touch, taste, hear, see, sense, smell is to do with 'satisfying sexual needs/wants'....

after having listened to so many academics talk 'like blank sheets of grey paper' about DESIRE....i began to realise that the word was being misused....'can a word be misused?'....well yes if it's immediate image tends to bring up 'the FLAME OF DESIRE' and then you equate that with a 'grey blank sheet of paper'....and then realised that the men as well as the women were as 'flaccid as they come' - whilst talking about 'desire' - in the context of their presentation as well as within the context of their 'textual analysis'....

'desire' opposed to 'want' in their narratives - which tended to conflate 'desire for a washing machine with good sex'....i was laughing but in incomprehension...why use such silly language?

the words 'want' and 'desire' are not synonymous in the English language and yet in academic texts they appear to be.....

somebody like the PRAGUE ROTHSCHILD had been thumbing through his thesaurus (THE SAW-US) and laughed 'that'll screw feminism - make them look like real idiots'....

the 'dumbing down of academic language'...whereupon you can 'desire' a washing machine as much as you can desire a prospective sexual partner....'use one word for both'....why?

does it 'save time' in the rat race of existence...?

maybe we should all ask the PC brigade to come up with a language comprised of only 100,000 PC words....eliminate all of those 'unnecessary words'....

do i desire my partner as i would a 'new model of washing machine'? i would hope not....but there you go.....

you could say that a very covert joke was going on between feminist writers - in relation to swapping the word 'want' for 'desire'....except that it wasn't - was it?

nothing was 'said'.

the 'joke'?

well, if it had been spoken was that many woman treated their ill cult arranged marriages as if.....well as if the woman in question, had been married to a 'washing machine'....a brainwasher of the ill.....a man with a stun-gun.....and masonic signals to 'shut her up'.

and let's face it....her ordinary mechanical washer.....wasn't good enough....whatever the make and model....

we then come around to the 'cougar' thing:

"swap them around girls.....your mechanical models/robots.....find the one that suits you"

OTHER NOTES:

somebody on the bus from clacton to manningtree was to 'talk about many things' and things more important than 'shoelaces and string'....shoe laces and string...cabbages and kings....'shoelaces and string' will be about cables and the cabling...K-BLING...oh i 'get' it now....perhaps i am wrong then...this IS about 'shoelaces and string'....

he was to laugh about cars.....from PUMAS and COUGARS as you upgraded the model........i was to note the antique cars in a manningtree garage - sarah holliday had driven a bigger version - around paris - a prague rothschild colour...so perhaps a HOLLIDAY day then?

a remote-viewer (a guy in an orange mack - regaling the busdriver with informative stories) ....the black guy sitting in front of me - had been his 'team leader'.......and the remote-viewer had been outing his programming as PUMA.....with me sitting behind him as COUGAR......not that cougar controlled puma on any ill cult scale....simply that he wanted us both to know what 'big cats' roles we would be expected to perform.....what 'big cat' alters we could next expect the ill to program us with....."on the prowl" laughs BI ONLINE.

OTHER NOTES:

guy on the bus had a lot to say.....

beware good friday and the entire bank holiday weekend.......because NUMBER 2 BUS would NOT running on a normal time schedule....he ascertained 'that one' from the bus driver...

i remember now....army intelligence guy ( the guy who normally drives the NUMBER 2 bus from clacton to manningtree) had got out of driving it during that religious holiday/EASTER bank holiday weekend circa 2003......he was sick and tired of putting up and shutting up, in relation to other religions getting 'perks' i.e. day's off...but he had had to forgo his religion's sacred days in the past.....and so he was then to PUT HIS FOOT DOWN about Catholic sacred days......to be met with incomprehension along the lines of "you will do as we say - you are only a catholic and not a knife-wielding muslim - we are not scared of you, as an employee in this country - but we are of muslims because they might do anything......"

i.e. circa 2003 and during the TOMLINSON 'invite every fanatic over to finsbury mosque to preach' years.....the UK government under TONY BLAIR had granted muslims favours that catholics did not have.....nor any other christian denomination, for that matter.

that is not the case, anymore - luckily....times have changed since the planned PRINCE CHARLES islamic NWO business....and so that bus ride was a 'reminder' of those times...

somebody on the government intelligence network is laughing this morning...about how historically the british isles/british culture should be more scared of 'catholic uprisings' in relation to UK history....

what is the point here?

the point is this, circa 2003:

UK employers had tended to 'believe' that you would be targeted by a nightmarish islamic mafia 'until you are all dead' scenario if they 'crossed' muslim employees....never mind 'tried to tell them what to do'....

"in the main it isn't a problem because they have a culture which makes them work hard and not be a 'nuisance'" replies gill....BRENDA was then to reply that the USA has a lot of young americans who work hard and are 'not a nuisance'......but in relation to coping with people who really step outside of your country's social/moral boundaries?....who tell you that they have to be allowed to do 'this and that'...tell you that you are a RACIST if you disagree with any point in their argument.....well it's a difficult number, isn't it?

OTHER NOTES:

back to my parents.... i can see that they have far more 'faith' in the rebel cause than i tend to do....but then they are a couple and it is 'easier' to be strong against ill cult forces - whilst i have had to go through the gamut of ill cult 'horror' around a 13th one game...where the ill taunt you with 'wake up to what we have done - or die'....whilst trying to 'knock you off/hunt you down' - using their various networks....which appear to be rapidly diminishing as the ill cult game progresses.....

Anyway, all in all, the whole morning was 'as i had hoped it would be'...my mother was very happy with her card and presents....dad was in a really good mood...he laughed at the NEXUS magazines and looked interested in the RED movie dvd...which i figured that they both might enjoy....after having last seen a horrific 'holocaust film' at the CORN(something) EXCHANGE in ipswich - a film called 'LORE'....which my mother was to say - had been horrific beyond words....

my parents are retired (like the main protagonists in the film RED)...and so i figured that they would really enjoy this '5 stars movie' in my book....i hope that hollywood will make a sequel....it is a 'classic' - rather like pink panther movies....

OTHER NOTES:

the ill i.e. sonia fisher in this case - had told my parents that i should 'fill their cake tins' (with things that i knew that they would like - from swiss rolls to simnel cake) and i have done so..presumably because it is symbolic of something else....

however, i didn't call it 'filling cake tins'....i called it 'filling cake boxes/box sis'.....

because that has been a major theme, recently - hasn't it? box-sis.....

since the taschmanns had taken over and begun to run SIS that is...see previous notes upon their HQ in the east end and the london chest hospital....

and even more recently...the operation to take down SIS and globally...resulting in my digging up that YELLOW SUBMATRINE 'blue meanie' illustration...half of which - appeared to represent Germany in purple and pink....