...what should have been a quick and pleasant...trip and back to M&S this morning...was cut short by ken....or 'ken-doll' if you prefer, gill....see previous notes.

nota bene that i haven't seen ken-doll, in a very long time...

....it is now september and the last time that i was to see him...was in the early summer.....near to clacton seafront...anyway, that didn't end well, did it?....see previous notes.

let me explain, i was queuing at one of the M&S 'trolley tills', this morning...when ken-doll appeared...'out of the blue'...suddenly, he was looming over me (or that was what it had felt like because he is so tall and large-framed), craning his neck around (in order to be about 'my height') and from behind...."hello emily!"...i responded politely with a smile "good morning" as i turned around, to see who it was....to then realise that it was ken-doll....to my horror...see previous notes upon 'ken-doll' turns nasty...just another old sex pest, you might say - or 'dirty old man' as we used to call them, in the 60s/70s (although his general appearance is always that of a 'saintly, sanitised uncle' let us say)...see previous notes upon what ken-doll had said to me, in clacton prom gardens...along the lines of "so you like old men then, do you?....do you like women?" etc etc....go figure.

anyway, so ken-doll tried to start up a conversation...after i had said "good morning"....he asked me how i was......whilst touching me arm in a 'familiar way', twice....i replied in a quiet but authoritative tone...."go away, ken - you are pestering me".

funnily, enough....everybody around, heard 'that encounter'....i was to note a certain smile upon the M&S till assistant's face, at that trolley till....to then hear comments from the till assistants at the fast tills - just behind her seat...."ken - he deserved it..." etc etc...they appeared to all know him...isn't that odd?...well-known around clacton as a sex pest, then - eh, ken?

"go away ken - you are pestering me"...go figure.

let me continue....obviously there was nothing else that ken could do, owing to the circumstances....you see, ill cult men who pester women...well, nothing tends to hold them back....if the woman is alone and walking down the road etc etc....she can tell him to go away and to stop pestering her...but he will follow her and continue to do so....therefore it is lucky that the next time that i was to meet ken-doll...that, it was in a shop...with till-assistants and other shoppers around...in a queue till....because....'within those circumstances'....ken-doll then had to 'leave it at that'.

...what else? well, ken-doll's response to my "go away - you're pestering me, ken"...was to touch my forearm in a 'familiar way' and tell me, the following:

"all right, emily - i'll see you later"

...hmmm...let me think...ken-doll is, perhaps living in a fantasy world...perhaps, he believes that this is just a 'marital tiff'?.....you see husbands and wives often 'act out' in public - that sort of scene - don't they? i.e. my mother would often say that sort of thing - to my father, in a supermarket....go figure.

"he's a clever bastard" replies BI ONLINE.

...certainly is...and that is why i am exposing him for it...because firstly, i barely know him....secondly, he has no right to be pretending that we have any sort of 'intimate relationship' in public, when we do not....and thirdly, i begin to wonder about his psychological state of mind....his fantasy world must be working overtime, mustn'it it, gill?

...because he appears to believe that he is in some sort of 'relationship' with me - when he is not and never has been....which is very worrying, indeed - isn't it? see previous notes upon sev's obsession with gill....and just how far that 'type of thing' can go.....i.e. just how distanced from reality, that-sort-of-thing can be...that sort of 'fantasy-world'....go figure.

for the record....i barely know ken......and yet the MI5 'undercover' psychiatric nurse at peter bruff ward....see previous notes....was to tell me about ken, seated 'in the background' - in the TV lounge, at penfold lodge...."he's a social worker"....you see, i had formerly thought that ken-doll was definitely....how does one put it?...somebody with a 'mental disability' and 'one of them' i.e. the men seated around that television viewing room, upon the groundfloor of penfold lodge....go figure.

anyway, ken's family might like to check out radio links to 'little colin' etc etc....because if 'that' (and you know what i mean, BI) has become embedded upon ken-doll's microchip....then....well, that's what i'm worried about, isn't it? see previous notes.

...what else? well.....ken's response to me, however - wasn't a CF one, in M&S, let us say....you see, if you were to encounter CF in a public 'closed environment' - within his twenties/thirties/forties...one where you wouldn't have thought that anybody would 'try it on' - as in, a shop....well, CF would have done....but normally the verbal result would be 'fock, fock fock this and fock that'...as a response to 'go away - you're pestering me'...and without bothering whether or not the whole shop, heard....go figure.

anyway, ken's response was to unnerve me, a bit....as if he hadn't heard my words....as if he were pretending in some fantasyworld of his, that we had some sort of 'husband/wife' relationship...."go away - ken, you're pestering me"...."okay, emily - i'll see you later"...do you see what i mean?

...really creepy...go figure.