....'what a crazy society this is'....

the media and advertising companies show us 'families' who appear to be perfect...model parents and model children...'the beautiful people'...

...'the beautiful people'....if you know what that 'circus' is all about...e.g. modelling...well the 'perfect parents' are probably class A drug addicts - desperate for a 'fag break' between photo-shoots...and i might add that they will have probably had 'a lot of work done' in relation to plastic surgery and..."dental correction" replies BI ONLINE etc etc...

no such thing as 'perfect' eh? as personified in the media...best to steer away from that sort of stereotypical thinking...along the lines of "i am not perfect if i do not have..." and look elsewhere...look deeper 'under the skin'...to the inner rather than the outer self...

what a pity that i have to wake up to 'all of this' in my 50s...i 'knew it all', at a much younger age, than this...but my memories had been taken 'clean away' from me...and so now i am struggling to regain my memories, in order to get an overview upon 'so much'....

anyway, i now know 'who helped who' in relation to 'outing' the latest actress to take on the role of J K ROWLING....and what she has been up to...

the yardies were to help the masons, let us say....in doing the above.

i can remember a white grandfather saying to his black son-in-law...and i do not want to misrepresent anybody here...but anyway, in synopsis....the grandfather was to tell his son-in-law that sometimes...the 'only friend' that he had in his house (his 'castle', his home), when he came home from work...was the family black cat, lounging around on-the-sofa..."he'd grin at me as i came in"..."she was in the kitchen, brewing up a storm" as in the wife...."she was in her bedroom, in tears" as in the daughter....

do you see where i am going with this? the father-in-law was to tell his son-in-law..."i used to love that cat..." and as an afterthought...."it reminds me of you"...his son-in-law was grinning at him, at the time...

the father-in-law struggled to express it...but did so anyway..."i loved that cat...and i love you..." - this wasn't a gay overture, believe me...it was something like 'acceptance' into the patriarchal scale of things.....and a warning that things would be tough...never easy...even if you had married the perfect blonde 'barbie doll' who wasn't really a doll...an independent-minded young woman, who had fallen in love - somebody who had a heart and mind but had no idea of what her father and husband were 'up to' behind her back - in a private conversation over a couple of lillets cocktails...never easy...the women never know until it is almost 'too late' - do they?

the father-in-law was then to tell his son-in-law...that life is never easy...it is not like in the 'happy families' scenarios in the media/advertising campaigns...you see, his daughter was a particularly pretty blonde....with what one might call a generally 'good hearted nature' - although a bit of an innocent...naive 'at the time'....do you see how it goes?

...and when the women do know...when they find out..."fractures occur all over the place" replies BI ONLINE...oh i see...you know what i am talking about? who got their skull fractured then? "it wasn't her fault...she had used a lampshade..." - it wasn't her fault? on her husband or father? "the lampshade upon her husband - he wasn't harmed...not much...the...we're not telling you what...on her father"...so what was really going on there, then? "our frequencies' control had been hacked - she went berserk"....what can i say?

...except that the son-in-law and the father-in-law had hacked on through...using all of their contacts...'yardies and masons'...to find out about J K ROWLING's den, in scotland....

'the nazi network' had realised what they had done...what the 'yardies and masons' had done - to then put a terrible end to that 'exposure'...a domestic tragedy of epic proportions....

what else? well the scottish rebel group, were to join the 'yardies and masons'...that is why they are now chopping down hedgerows and trees, around that J K ROWLING residence...in edinburgh, in order to use their telescopic lens.....because a lot of 'dodgy people' have been going in and out of that building....

the original 'j k rowling' was a child murderer.....CID JOAN was to say, at the time of investigating the original 'j k rowling's' mansion and grounds...."if only we had known sooner"....so many dead bodies...so many 'human remains' for forensics to investigate.....

...and the new 'j k rowling'? more of the same....she will have the same system imprint....go figure.

OTHER NOTES:

'life is never easy'

...we tend to be born 'in pain' (if the birth is natural)...to then suffer and die, at the end of life...everybody does...there are no exceptions...and therefore it is the 'inbetweens' that are the most important memories of the lot....what happens inbetween...birth and death.

...and nearing the end of life...one should be allowed time...to meditate upon one's whole life...without pain - if it is possible...and it should be possible, within the western world...to create new drugs that do not harm the body whilst putting a stop to pain....(see previous notes upon morphine shortening life because it weakens the bodily defences)

pain relief is a big number, today...most working people are 'ground down' by physical pain in some form or another - that or 'lack of sleep'...

drug companies have not come up with suitable drugs for either physical pain or lack of sleep  (you can spend a fortune at the local chemist's and gain neither)....all they have come up with so far, are prescribed pharmaceutical drugs that tend to 'kill off your liver/kidneys/heart muscles' etc...whilst enabling pain relief/sleep...drugs that you should not take, for any significant length of time....

what can i say? but that the drug companies can do better than that and should be encouraged to do so....rather than simply following ill cult commands to design 'kill large populations off quickly' drugs - those like olanzapine - and upon nazi orders, i might add...along the lines of 'the weakest to the wall' and 'survival of the fittest'....you see the templar cult is only interested in 'how much money you can make for them'...and once, you are retired...they don't want to know - do they? "make you feel bad, time" replies MI5 ONLINE....make you feel bad about 'still being alive' once you have retired - having worked hard to earn every single penny - all of your life...isn't that disgusting? where is the respect....the dignity, gone?...that should be given to the elderly? "those that have seen it all" relies BI ONLINE.

...and that is why i was to look in askance at my mother...who was to suggest that hanni should be given...how do i describe it...'swiss clinic euthanasia'....actually she hadn't suggested that one, specifically...she had been talking about 'the end of life' and 'when you are no longer useful'....and nobody should be made to feel like that, after what they have put into society - as a tax-paying citizen - should they?

hanni had been 'made to feel like that' upon retirement....and that is why I had advised my parents to suggest to her a 'swiss retirement home' where she would not be 'treated like that'....because I 'knew' that she needed 'years' to reflect upon her life...put it all 'back together again'...and as far as I know...that is what she was then to do at ARTOS...despite ill cult attacks upon her, within that residential home, I might add...how Norwegian programmers had got in there...to drug hanni and then 'beat her around the head' I do not know....something that needs to be 'tightened up' upon - in relation to 'security' there, then eh?

OTHER NOTES:

.....as LA FRANCK knew only too well...my thoughts were to turn to her...she had refused morphine...despite terrible illnesses...even the one that was to bring about her death...but she was to refuse all of those 'painkillers'...resorting only to 'sleeping draughts'....

...did she know about gill's almost life-long heroin habit....? i do not know...as far as i can remember - i had never told her 'on pain of death' etc etc....

why had she refused a painkiller like morphine? it is difficult to answer that one...i can only say that she preferred a 'natural death'....

...and what does all of the above - say to me? well, we are not all devout catholic nuns, are we?...i know that 'suicide' is a sin, in the christian books....and it is probably a sin, in other religious books, as well.....i cannot talk for 'God'....but i do not think that God would blame those who take painkillers - even morphine before death, to cut out that terrible pain - even if it shortens your natural lifespan, a bit....that is all i can say.

OTHER NOTES:

my camera and that 'tannoy/transistor' today....well it was the 'usual'....something around "fuck off and die"....i then remembered a 'funny incident'...something around 'fuck off and die' replacing 'wysiwig'....our 'joke' around the whole thing....

well i hope that is right...or i am really off on the wrong tack, aren't i?

but anyway...a bit like dabydeen telling me that "HO BITCH!" was a term of respect....

FUCK OFF AND DIE = I LOVE YOU

what a crazy world this is - when we do not dare to say what we really mean?