...and this morning....whilst still on the topic of 'brexit saving/Buckingham palace/NHS....I was to think about composing an open letter to THE TIMES...as a pisstake...but then realised that the recipient should be more along the lines of somebody like david icke....because you never know with 'mental robots' do you? 'no sense of humour'...'get you sectioned in a flash' etc etc....anyway, I then thought about PRIVATE EYE...but realised, having written the letter...that it was a bit too long...for either that esteemed organ or for VIZ...and so I shall post it 'here' - go figure:

Dear Sir,

I am writing to you as a keen zoologist/photographer, regarding buckingham palace's reptile house. Should that much money be spent on renovating it?

Additionally, why are regional zoos missing out on such a sizeable block government grant? £350 million for just one reptile house is far too large a share of the pie, in my opinion.

Office politics aside, let's talk revenue because most children prefer to look at the penguins, tigers and bears - rather than some ancient snake, that violently bangs its head against the glass, now and then - frightening foreign visitors away and it is not as if the lizards do much to entertain the crowds, is it?

Surely we can do better, at the heart of london because a bunch of fanged deer roaming the grounds of buckingham palace reptile house, really isn't good enough, is it?

What about an assortment of....'off the top of my head'...zebras, ostriches, pterdactyls, kangaroos, bread-and-butterflies, dodos and mock-turtles dotted around the place - wouldn't that be much more of a tourist draw? You could also add a few smoking caterpillars and talking flowers - so long as they're not too chatty.

yours in consternation,

Sir Albert Whipsnade CBE