"we are in the magicians' house looking at pregnant men's society" replies MI5 ONLINE....well you know - come to think of it...i wonder now if gill and farrell had 'swapped' places on the system? you see CF had had russian as his first 'functional' language, hadn't he? Jade's father had been russian/sephardic....go figure...."the whole romanov package"....CF would have learnt a bit of hebrew and arabic whilst living with moshe dayan and his nurse....freed from that mkultra 'kibbutz'/brave new world horror...see previous notes upon what was going on at the sacre coeur in ein kerem....

look at gill...he was 'sabra' but his father and mother were definitely french......his father's family was french jooish and his mother was a catholic nun, who worked for 'intelligence'....gill therefore had three literal as well as conceptual 'homes'...switzerland, france and finally the east end of london...where he was to begin his life 'on this side of the mirror' with his adoptive parents....

...gill was present at farrell's birth...so we can say that CF was also 'sabra'? we can - can't we? richard harris and his wife...harris and his house upon the mount of olives....three literal as well as conceptual homes...ireland, israel, greenwich london...but in terms of identity...when both of your parents are irish...then 'you are, too'...go figure...and what about the 'footballing father' then? 'mr farrell'...another adoption?

oh and another thing....who had really written that 'tigerland' script? you see, this evening i was to remember another thing about harris...he had laughed at 'little colin' putting on a dress, to then curl up on his mother's knee in the evenings....she had wanted a girl, you see...she couldn't bear little boys and she didn't like men much either (she had her own screw-ups e.g. saw herself as terribly ugly and had no idea why men found her so attractive - "brave new world programming - segregation of the sexes")...anyway, she was doing her house duties and 'going off her head'...sheer exhaustion....oh and harris had wanted a girl, too....anyway, harris was to see his son dressing up a little girl to get 'love and affection' as being an 'asset'...that would serve him well in later life...isn't that terrible - how 'intelligence' had become? your childhood f***-ups are seen as 'assets' that might actually help you to survive, in later life....along the lines of 'versatility'....'adaptability' etc etc...

reminds me of a quote from derek jarman, in a way...where he says...and i shall badly paraphrase what i can remember of it...something around when you have got past being scared of all of those 'skeletons in the cupboard/closet'...you can begin to enjoy working out 'who you really are' by looking back at your childhood and remembering...what had f***ed you up....your screw-ups etc etc....and jarman must have had more than most...what had happened to him then?...watch his films...and go figure.