I remember - I used to have a ‘conversation class’ with my EFL students sometimes around an essay that I had asked them to write about the person that they most identified with/wanted to be…this person could be from the past or the present, male or female, fictional or non-fictional…anybody…some students chose a different gender…some chose cartoon characters…you could interpret it any way that you wanted…anyway, they all came back to class, having thought about it…and we would have a discussion about it…

My Czech students had incredibly varying ideas…although my Chinese students - nearly all of the men wanted to be the MONKEY KING and some of the women too…

Anyway, I can now see why I was subconsciously interested in finding out the above about people and this is why:

MARTIN GILL had been ‘MARTINE’ upon the other side of the mirror. This alter was allowed to grow up. He was TODDY’s ‘beautiful lady’ and he could do no wrong in this alter. As a child - GILL had been taken to meet a SAUDI PRINCE, who was being ‘run’ by SCARLETT…and GILL had been told that he was really called MARTINE (he had been dressed up in a flowery dress) and that he was really the daughter of a SULTAN. This obviously appealed to him as a young child.

A similar sort of thing had happened to me. My ‘role model’ had been HENRI PEULEVE. This had also greatly appealed to me…what an exciting life…a member of the SOE…escaping from DACHAU across EUROPE…being part-French…working with radio…

So when the pair of us, sat in front of TODDY and RIMINGTON as children - I was the ‘little boy’ to MARTINE’s ‘little girl’ - except that he didn’t really relate to me as a ‘little boy’ and I didn’t really relate to him as a ‘little girl’. We fought.

One day at GREEN TOWER - I was in one of the flats with GILL and he confided in me about MARTINE - he had dressed up as her…he looked rather like that glamorous lady off ALLO ALLO…that type of look…black shiny high heels…flowery dress, big belt…large dark curly wig…dramatic make-up…he looked good - a ‘beauty’…and a bit PAT ANDREW if you know what I mean. MARTINE wanted to be my friend. She wanted to talk about it all.

She explained to me about how we used to sit in front of TODDY and RIMINGTON as children…she relayed the images…but TODDY wasn’t there…just a ‘grey fuzz’…and I didn’t know who he was either…all we could remember was that he had been male…MARTINE told me that RIMINGTON refused to talk about him…so we decided that we would have to investigate - who was that man?

I now understand why I tended to see MARTIN GILL as ‘weak’ and ‘feminine’…more of a girl than me…his main ‘driving seat’ alter…the one that he had always identified with most…had been MARTINE, daughter of the SULTAN - carefully hidden.

MARK R also knew about MARTINE - I can remember now, he also told her ‘beautiful lady’ etc etc…whilst at the TEMPLAR CASTLE.

Anyway, during an under the radar period - MARTINE walked into the CIA lab and gobsmacked MCDONALD and SC.

“Holy crap” said MCDONALD. SC was literally speechless. ROZ kept entirely quiet, throughout the whole event.

MARTINE began to mouth off at me…bitching me into the ground…she then decided that she wanted to make friends and sat beside me upon my chair…I had to budge up.

I then began to ask MARTINE questions - and the whole thing came out…who ‘she’ was…who her father was…what she had to do at GREEN TOWER (steal trillions for TADCO etc)…by that point MCDONALD had recovered enough to run round the room to attack MARTINE…and so I had to trance out and give him a slight heart-attack or he would have killed her. MARTINE then walked out of the room and upstairs to the café/canteen…to meet an equally surprised DAVID BOWIE - who then engaged her in conversation.

MARTINE was hungry - she decided upon the GREEN pasta, the GREEN bean salad…and that little sweet at the end of the glass cabinet…a LIGHT GREEN marizpan square with a WALNUT upon it…and a nutty filling. She sat down with BOWIE…they talked as she ate the lot. The SWEET represented MARK R for some reason…

Anyway, after the CIA LAB had recovered from the shock…we eventually worked out that we had all been the opposite gender, upon the other side of the mirror, as children. ROZ had been ATILLA THE HUN…I cannot remember why she had identified with him…perhaps YUL BRYNNER or somebody had played him in a HOLLYWOOD movie…anyway, ROZ had already semi-woken up to that one because she had used ATILLA as an alias whilst writing comments for YOUTUBE…MCDONALD had that US blonde actress who was given a lobotomy because she had ‘rabbitted’…and JESSICA RABBIT attached - his name had been JESSE…and SC had the ‘bionic woman’ - JAIME SOMMERS.

I can now see why ROZ had depicted herself and her best friend as ‘STRONG MEN’ in that THE SUN IS UP ‘manga.

I then began to realise the power that TODDY had had over all of us as children - we had loved him and would do anything to please him…if he wanted me to go ‘undercover’ as HOAG BOY - jooish boy at a druid/jooish/military rite…then I would go in my HENRY/HENRI alter…all good fun….top secret spying mission…that sort of thing.

In 1980 - RIMINGTON, SCARLETT and MANNINGHAM-BULLER beat the crap out of my HENRI alter…they injected my spine to make my legs useless - then gave me crutches and told me to get up and walk…the floor was shiny and it was impossible…they laughed and taunted me for some while…I wet myself eventually - they left me for hours in a pool of urine - until the drug had worn off. They obviously hated this HENRI alter for some reason…but such abuse only made me more determined to ‘get them all’ in the end.

Anyway, TODDY turned up at some point…after we had found him out…at the CIA LAB.

OTHER NOTES:

Something else turned up last night…and that was all related to:

SEQUINS

Remember THE TURN OF THE SCREW programming and TODDY as QUINN turning up at LANGLEY JUNIORS to programme the headmaster MR MONTGOMERY through his office window - with the JESUIT CROSS?

SEE QUINN

I remembered how SUE WHALLEY in her white wedding dress and greeting the guests as they walked in, after the wedding…with her needle and thread…sewing yet more SEQUINS onto her dress…her mother and sister kept telling her not to be so silly…but SUE was adamant…there weren’t enough on it…and she hadn’t had time the night before…

SEE QUINN

I then thought about that demure but ‘GLAM’ RED SEQUINNED dress that I had picked off a rack - to wear for the ‘dance’ at that SHANGHAI HOTEL with MR PUTIN’s men…I had danced with MILIBAND in that dress…I wonder now, if I had chosen it for a particular reason?

I then thought about SCARLETT, TOMLINSON and PUTIN going on the ‘razz’ in East Berlin - dressed as transvestites…the video was bad…but PUTIN was in almost precisely the same dress…it was of a shiny material and SCARLET red…

I then thought about SUSAN SINCLAIR at one of the first BC PRAGUE parties…telling us all that she wanted to look GLAM and that was why she had worn her BLUE SEQUINNED jacket…but dressed it down with jeans…just in case it wasn’t that ‘glam’ an occasion…I had turned up in a white embroidered sequined ’Indian’ waistcoat…with white jeans…

SEQUINS = 70’s GLAM ROCK, don’t they?

THE SWEET for example.

I can remember the PRINCES had never heard of them at the TEMPLAR CASTLE but then loved the group and freaked out to BALLROOM BLITZ…TODDY had written that one and I had added the line ‘and the man at the back said everyone attack’ because we were writing up a real gangster fight in the East End - where TODDY had pulled me under the bar…I suppose I was in HENRI alter at the time…

OTHER NOTES:

Anyway, in discussion with MARTINE - she was quite sure that I hated her…and I tried to explain to her that we were like adopted children…brother and sister…that I didn’t hate her…it was natural for brothers and sisters to ‘hate’ each other….I had hated HUMPHREY…but there is love and friendship underneath…MARTINE didn’t appear to think so and kept repeating ‘you hate me’…so that was where it had all started from. I guess that I beat him up one too many times - and then as an adult - he used to frequently try to beat me up.

OTHER NOTES:

ATILLA THE HUN and JESSE ‘RABBIT’ - now that is an odd combination, isn’t it?

I now understand better - why DAVID MILIBAND said to me, in 1980 “when I am with you, I feel like a lesbian’ - I didn’t take it as a compliment at the time but now I understand it better - this was obviously what most, if not all ill cult men felt about women….it was the only way that they could relate to them because their male alters were completely gay…TOMLINSON was an obvious case in point and his relationship with ROZ would have followed suit.

I used to see the ‘BIONIC WOMAN’ as the sanest one of the lot of us, at GREEN TOWER.

OTHER NOTES:

CAMERON in the DAILY TELEGRAPH the other day…he has told the SIKHS that he will not return their DIAMOND…and that will be his downfall - so much bad luck.

See previous notes upon the SIKHS calling ELIZABETH II ‘Mrs Fagin’….