Thursday 16 July 2015

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIHj6etBiE0

yes, I now see what that 'looking after the children' metaphor is really all about...so who was the baby doing 'military crawl' across the floor, then?

'seashells on the seashore...' I remember now...an odd memory was to come back of gill behaving really badly...first up...he was in 'crowman alter'...for example those that I had seen around Auschwitz...fleeting 'black shadows' at the corners of my vision because I had been programmed 'not to look'...and so I didn't...but I knew that they were there...and the projectionist also knew that I could see them...."you can see them" - he was to tell me repeatedly...and all I could reply was that I could see the crows, perched on telegraph pole wires...on trees around the compound....

anyway, the location was 'sunset beach'...colin and I had nearly been shot at...by an NSA member pissing around...as gill was to tell me later on....a man with a rifle in a four wheel drive, under the palm trees...gill was to meet us at the crossing...I was to see that fleeting shadow and look away...gill then called to me...I looked...and yes, it was him....he told colin that he had another acting job to do...colin gave him some money and then asked about another 'holiday'...we had been 'on holiday' you see...colin had taken me to his favourite restaurants...a run in the forest...or "let's go for an icecream"...a swim in the ocean...a perfect holiday in other words - 8 years old again, I suppose and he had made a deal with a mate of his who ran a certain restaurant 'not to tell' (his mate had realised that I was in a child alter and not 'retarded' - his mate ran drugs and guns)......anyway,"can't I stay? he likes me" I was to tell gill...as he frogmarched me across the crossing..."you are getting to like him too much...you promised you wouldn't...you're not seeing him again" gill replied......little martin, so possessive about his dolls...and little colin - searching for that 8 year old girl, again...

you see, how he used to freak people out, at suppertimes - those who weren't used to it...newcomers...H house, totnes....



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